I Just Can’t!!!!

Today was a great day with my bio mom and nephew. Went for a drive and watched some tv, chatted, went to the park…

Throughout the day my husband would play with my nephew and joke around with him. They played and joked around. Often I found myself thinking about what a wonderful father he would make. 

At about 18h35 tonight he decided to take my 8-year-old nephew for a drive in his Mercedes Sports Car. When my bio mother and I started to worry about how long they were out for I tried to call him but he has left all his phones in the flat. She kept asking me if he still drinks and where he goes to drink… I kept thinking in my head that he wouldn’t be that stupid to take an 8-year-old to a bar and then get behind he wheel with him in the car under his supervision.

I hear the door lock…so I breathe a sigh of relief because they were home.

My nephew walks in and looks troubled. Then this stranger follows him and shakes my hand…. and 

They were in an accident. The guy admits adn stresses how my husband is not in the wrong. They have gone to the police station and shared numbers and insurance details etc. My husband’s car is apparently badly damaged. Thankfully all parties are safe and not harmed.

But…all I am thinking now is how I am going to get his Insurance Company to want to play ball about the first accident that the other party is threatening suing him for. How is his car going to be fixed. How am I ever going to trust him driving? How am I going to continue with him…yesterday thinks were looking bleak for me and him and not the realization of how I cannot trust him to ever drive a car with my child or any child in it has me fuming.

My bio mother has been with us before when we were shouting with each other and so she has begged me not to shout…and so I am now lying in bed trying to calm myself and wondering what the fuck now!!

Once the guy (stranger/accident party) left, my husband and nephew left too and a lil while later I saw him park his car and my 8-year-old nephew got out the passenger door with no assistance…that tells me that he was sitting in the front.