Stuck In Time

Feeling stuck….a feeling felt by millions. What to do? Direction to take? What is proper anymore?

A world turned upside down by many factors. Hate, fear, sickness, pandemic, panic….pieces. Where are we going? What will we all face in these coming days?

Laughter filled the air this weekend. Nephews running around the large yard laughing. And a few adults gathered out by the fire. It was a much needed very small gathering of family, even if we spent outside together.

Since moving to Canada, things have gone far from what I had imagined. Eight months here and I have yet to fully settle in. My mind has become clouded with uncertainty. Was moving here the right choice? That is an answer that will become more clear as time goes on.

If it’s one thing, I have been forced to face my darkest parts of myself in this time. Many of us have. It’s easy to tell someone to get over it or move on, but when it happens to you, are those words you really want to hear?

I suffer from a mental condition known as Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D for short. Formally known as Multiple Personality Disorder. Not only do I suffer from the trauma that surrounds this, but the stigma around mental health as well.

I was diagnosed 2yrs ago and much of this is still very new and is still a hard reality to accept. Especially in these times. My therapist said I didn’t have to share this with anyone, but I find writing about it helps me swallow the facts. Will it help here? Who’s to say?

It does explain a lot, but at the same time leaves me feeling out of place. I have excepted it, but I still struggle. And being in a new place, things have become a bit of a struggle.

I hope to find a space to release, relax, and be me…well us.

Safety is the first key. Finding a place to express myself and slowly getting unstuck; we’ll see how this plays out.

Thank You For The Welcomes To The Community! 😊