It’s March…still cold!

Well it’s a new month but it still feels like winter here in good old Chicagoland. I am so over it. I want to be some place warm!

I have been rereading my old entries, going way back to 2003. It is painful. Mostly it is about my marriage imploding and my sad desperation to find someone to love me, even though I didn’t love myself. I am so glad I am not that person anymore.

I am 100% devoted to my spiritual growth at this point. A relationship with another person is not as important to me anymore as is a relationship with myself. I am writing a book about my journey and I am hoping to continue to grow and learn more and more every single day. That’s my goal for 2019.

I decided I do not want to talk about my political views anymore, all it does it rile me up. I know what I believe and I am OK with not sharing that with others. Sometimes I still do on Facebook but not that much anymore. I am more concerned about becoming a better person. I can’t change others, only myself. So that’s my focus now.

I have a new Reiki student now. I met her at my new job, she is also a MT. She left or maybe was fired? (I am still not sure) because of personality conflicts between her and the owner. She is wonderfully gifted and I recognized that immediately. So I have attuned her to Level 1 and 2 Usui Reiki. She’s had a tough childhood and she is not very grounded. She is 27 but very immature. Her parents really didn’t give a crap about her and she was on her own basically from age 14, living with people she knew.  I am kind of mentoring her, trying to be the parental figure that she never had growing up. She has lots of potential so I hope she can get it together. She has made some good strides already. She is kind of my pet project now lol. I enjoy being a good role model and teaching others my story. I think that’s my gift really.

My daughter’s birthday is Sunday, she’s a typical Pisces, still waters that run deep. She doesn’t really have a direction at the moment. I hope she can figure it out soon. She’s 25 and that’s young but still time to start thinking about the future. We and her sisters are going out for sushi and then cake later. I bought her a gift card for the spa so she can come get a massage or facial, whatever she wants. I don’t think she has ever had a facial. I love them, so relaxing, wish I could get them more often.

I got a massage Monday and it was really good. My left shoulder is slowly improving but still stiff. I am still thinking about trying that CBD oil to see if it helps. Worth a shot.

I have seen some bunnies outside and heard birds chirping so maybe Spring will be here soon. One can only hope. Around here you just never know what the weather will be like. I love the Spring when everything starts to grow again, it’s like rebirth. I am trying to be reborn again as well. Come join me on my journey.


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March 6, 2019

I have found over the years that every time I changed something about me; whether it was my attitude (which now is I don’t give a crap so  I am so sorry depending on the kind of person I am dealing with)  I would continue to be you and do what you always do…why not say what you are thinking?  If it’s an idiot then they are an idiot, just like my idiot brother-in-law and his girlfriend who is more of an idiot)  I just tell it like it is and you need to do that too.

March 7, 2019

I would like to follow along if I may.

March 8, 2019

I wish I had my old entries.

Makes writing in here sad.  Afraid I am gonna loose them all agian.

I hear alot about CBD oil.  I have alot of back issues etc. Scared to try it tho.