Its so odd when I think of the relationship that I had with Alex after I returned from Dubai and he decided to stay after he highly suspected what was between me and my relationship with Alok in Dubai. Its like I had made some odd commitment to him. He expected me to stop talking to Alok and a friend that I was mildly flirty with that lived on the other side of the Burgh. He demanded that I stopped talking to Ahmed all together and said that if I was gonna talk to Ahmed, he was gonna start keeping girls on the side and start talking to them for when we break up. I freaked and stopped talking to Ahmed all together and was careful not to bring up the subject of Alok. He hadnt gotten his fair week of judgement in my environment to really decide if I wanted or even could stomach being with him.
The weeks flew by and Christmas was near approaching and I suggested that Alex come with my mom and nephew (the two people in this world Im closest to with the exception of my roomie) to go shopping in the grove city outlet mall. He agreed and that day as he was interacting with my family, I realized that he might really love me and be ready to settle down. Alok was becoming a purposely made distant dream that I once had and I realized that I wanted to stop talking to him all together. Alex is all I need and I realized it right then. I was gonna tell Alok right after the holidays. Once week later, Alex decides to invade my privacy and go thru my laptop. I had naughty pics on that laptop of me and Adam. Remember the 8 people I slept with in July? One pf those were of Adam. I slept with him twice, once in the 3rd week of july and again in the 2nd week of August. The pics, however, were dated for October because thats when I saved them to my laptop. Alex flew off the handle because he thought he had finally found the non existent proof that I had cheated on him. He wasnt interested in anything I had to say and when I called and begged him to come to my house and talk, he said he couldnt that night because he was busy and had nothing to say. That was thursday and the soonest I could talk to him would be sunday because of my work schedule. He said he would come on sunday evening but just to talk. I agreed and then that night was woken up to terrible text messages asking me how they made me feel and attached to them were pics of him having another girl suck his cock and of him having intercourse with another. He said that they were from that night and I said that I never wanted to talk to him again. He said he needed some time to think and he was going to visit his sister in SC and would b back in afew days. He didnt answer his calls or text messages during those days and I felt cut off and like this whole thing was my fault and my heart was broken.
Alex resurfaced on a wednesday and said that he couldnt stay away from me and needed to come see me right away. It was the break I could hope for and he said he would come talk on the following day. We agreed that we loved each other and could put everything behind us. We knew right then that we were addicted to each other and that the addiction might kill us but felt so good and we had to see this thing out to the end. We decided to go to NYC the third weekend of December to work on our relationship and I was thru the moon. The trip was amazing and i knew that I had made the right choice to take him back..until the ride home. Alex again started with who he thought I was sleeping with even tho I was totally faithful to him by that point. My therapist thought that the trip was a bad idea, Alex is a bad idea and those girls he sent me in the pic were girls that he had been seeing all along and I knew that she was wrong and I was beginning to doubt the woman that had helped me leave Scott because of his verbally abusive tendencies. This was beginning to get messy and complicated.
December came and passed. We decorated for christmas and listened to Christmas music while we were doing it because alex loves christmas music. I was thinking that us becoming husband and wife one day were possible and I was starting to think that I should hope for a ring in 2012. New years resolution? how bout new years wish instead! Speaking of new years, this year I was going to be spending my first ever new years out and I was so excited. It was gonna be me, Alex, Britt and Alex’s hot friend Jacob. We went downtown and had a great time and when we went outside to the get some air on the balcony, he held me in his arms and told me he loved me in 3 different languages. It was the most romantic thing that I had ever experienced and I was loving life and on top of my world!! God, I loved him right then more than any woman had ever loved any man!!! Its so tragic to look back on it now.