Never judge a book by it’s cover.
It’s finally Friday. I’d be absolutely thrilled about this – Except I open at the restaurant tomorrow, so Friday is essentially irrelevant today. At least I don’t work tonight and can get some much needed cleaning, relaxing and simply breathing done.
The judgment and assumptions of people amazes me often in the service industry. Somedays more than others. Generally, on the nights that aren’t crazy busy, I get time to talk to my customers. A lot. I’ve got regulars that I know better than probably their own friends and family. It’s also a Truck Stop – so lots of single individuals eating and looking for some friendly conversation. I’m pretty open and honest with the “normal” customers. The creeps get the basics (or nothing), but overall it’s like building a nice, large extended family.
So, I have a nice man visiting with me while he eats his meal. He asked about kids and I share I have 3 kids and 2 grandchildren. He then tells me I don’t look old enough – Thanks, I started a little too early, but it all worked out. We compare some pictures of kids/grandkids. A little later as I’m doing another refill he askes how old I was when I had a child – Well, I had my first shortly after turning 16 and all 3 kids by 20. Wow, you did start young. Yeah, but it’s given me more time to love them, for them to know their great grandparents and honestly, I now know if I’d of waited I never would have had children as I had full infertility by 23. So, it wasn’t ideal, but it’s been a great ride.
I return a bit later, it’s currently slower, I do have time to visit and obviously this guy kind of wants to visit. He shares some more on his life. Then the kicker… Did you get a high school diploma? Ummm, yeah, I actually graduated high school a semester early. Really? Wow, having kids that young often doesn’t end with graduating and that’s how you end up stuck waiting tables forever. I just laugh and then decide maybe we’ll give him a lesson on never believing stereotypes or statistics.
Not only did I graduate early, I went on to get an Associate’s Degree and then a Bachelor’s Degree with a 4.0. If I would decide to do my Master’s I only have exactly 1 year left. Wow? Really? You did all that and had kids as a teenager? Yes sir – I also wait tables by choice – I work full-time for the government, making an above average wage for this area, and have for the past 11+ years. So, you work two jobs? Yep, I like nice things, I like my house I own, I don’t qualify for public assistance and my youngest is going to college so all the money I can make – the better – and I’m doing it all on my own. He said he had no idea – no, you don’t. BTW – A lot of servers have two jobs – because we like the cash tips but we need our full-time job for the insurance/retirement/vacation, etc.
By this point his attitude had definitely changed. Don’t get me wrong, he was nice the whole time, but it turned to a more respectful nice – realizing we’re much more on the same level and I’m as qualified in life as he is – maybe more. Not just some waitress with no life skills trying to make it by in life. (And let me say, even those that “only” waitress – They’re some of the smartest people I’ve met. Sadly the service industry pays well and is better than a lot of full-time jobs.) He then asked – about the kids. So, what about your kids – what do they do?… Well, my oldest has two kids and she recently moved back, leaving the dental field to re-enter the service industry as it pays great to get ahead/back on your feet. She’s waiting for a decent job to open up. Though, she just applied at a dental office and is hoping to return to that. My middle kids is a fiber optic driller working in Western Montana, Oregon and Washington – He’s got some major healthy complications due to a cancer gene but works full-time in-between surgeries and is making six figures a year when he doesn’t need time off. My youngest is attending a private college for Aviation. He’s a Sophomore, has his Private Pilot License, will have his Instrument License any day. He’ll leave college with a Bachelor’s Degree, 1,000 flight hours, and full certifications to become a commercial pilot immediately. Currently, he plans to be a CFI his Junior Year so the college will begin paying him to fly. His goal is to fly passenger planes for a major airline, eventually internationally, then to retire, buy two planes, rent a hanger and give private lessons somewhere like Las Vegas. He’s also going to live like he’s broke when he becomes a pilot to pay off his student loans ASAP. Oh, he also works part-time at a hotel chain he’s worked for since he was 14 and transferred to this one when he went to college.
Pretty sure he is now pretty much speechless. Wow, so they all sound like they’re doing great. Yeah, for the most part, minus the normal young adult crap. And they all work? Ummm, yes sir, they’ve all worked since they were 14 – literally. Sometimes holding two jobs during high school. You don’t see that much these days, kids don’t work much. Nah, they don’t – that wasn’t optional for mine though, they had to work if they wanted their own random spending money as nothing in life is free and they needed to know that then. Well, it sounds like it all turned out good for you all – Yes, sir, we’re definitely not just a statistic or a stereotype. I may have been a teenage mom, but I used that to push myself and push my kids – making sure they knew what hard work, ethics and morals were. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t ideal, but it was worth it.
He then quit quizzing me and had no further questions. What would his reaction have been if I didn’t have a diploma? Does it matter? We returned to looking at pictures on his phone while I was in between tables – learning about his family and children. If nothing else, hopefully he learned to never judge a book by it’s cover. I honestly don’t mind sharing – I did beat stereotypes/statistics. If I can educate one person to be less judgmental or to know they don’t have to “just be another statistic”, it’s worth it.
The booth that was sitting behind him left me a $20 tip on their $20something ticket. Obviously, hearing the conversation. See, being open and honest pays. Literally. I am sure this is why I make the amount of money I do – I’m real, sometimes too real.
On that note – I’m exhausted today and super sick of working two jobs. However, like I told him – life’s expensive, I like my things and I like my house. It won’t always be like this. I’m going to retire and live a wonderful, traveling life. I’m going to have money to travel now. (When this whole job limbo thing is done and I quit anally saving of course.) I open the next two Saturdays, so exhaustion is going to be a major part of my life for the next two weeks. (Maybe I also need to begin going to bed early, but I’ve really started to enjoy having a drink after work, visiting with the random people passing through at the bar, and not rushing straight home. I’m trying to embrace this empty nest thing and enjoy my time.)
That’s about it. My first client is already a NCNS so I better go write that up and actually get my work done. Should the second be the same I’m going to be super sad I didn’t stay home and work remote today.