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Asset 5

Never judge a book by it’s cover.

February 16, 2024
It's finally Friday.  I'd be absolutely thrilled about this - Except I open at the restaurant tomorrow, so Friday is essentially irrelevant today.  At least I don't work tonight and can get some much needed cleaning, relaxing and simply breathing done. The judgment and assumptions of people amaze...
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Recent Entries

  • Asset 5
    Valentine Tip Money. Tip/Budget Planning for Mayo Trip.
    February 15, 2024
    Last night's time at work was pretty freaking crazy - to say the least. Another waitress had asked if I wanted to work - well, yeah, I'm good and don't need it off.  I could care less about spending Valentine's Day out if the option to make money instead is there.  I figured it would…
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  • Asset 5
    It’s all too much.
    February 14, 2024
    I’m just laying in bed. Waiting for sleep to come. Waiting for the mixture of benzos to do their job. As I pray to drift into numbness, I can’t help but feel sad. So incredibly sad. Fake it til you make it. Right? But what if you never make it? What if you can’t fake…
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  • Asset 5
    Contract Fail = Job Ending. No big deal.
    February 2, 2024
    The title says it ALL. My agency was so sure they'd get this contract/grant.  Literally, every time I asked - including asking all the way to the top of the food chain, I received answers of "We're confident".  As time went on - my confidence was waning.  If it was so cut and dry -…
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  • Asset 5
    So little time, even less money
    January 29, 2024
    Sometimes I absolutely feel like I’m spiraling. Lately, those feelings have been often. There’s so much to do, yet so little time and even less money to cover it all. To say I’m getting frustrated would be an understatement. Zak has his second surgery the end of February. I’m working my ass off t...
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  • Asset 5
    Work, Mom, Feelings of Guilt.
    January 22, 2024
    The days are flying by and feel far too short lately. I said last week my caseload was increasing. This continues. It’s bizarre. I love to analyze and determine the “why’s”. Why do I suddenly have so many more clients? I haven’t found any pattern at this point. We still have lots of jobs listed&h...
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  • Asset 5
    Work Ramblings & Shingles
    January 16, 2024
    A lot of my writing is from work during the slow parts of my office day. Lately, the slow parts are evaporating. Which means my writing time is also disappearing. Back to writing from my shower floor. This is probably where I’ve done a lot of my best writing. So it’s not necessarily a bad…
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  • Asset 5
    Unfocused Rambling… (Not)Accepting IVF Reality and Loss.
    January 9, 2024
    Lately, I start an entry - get distracted - save it for later - never post it.  Maybe it just feels to get some words out and be done.  I've considered that maybe I should just start privately saving these snippets to look back on.  There has to be a reason the words gush out…
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  • Asset 5
    2024 – A year of healing and growth to come.
    January 2, 2024
    So many are posting their resolutions throughout the various social media platforms.  The great things they're going to accomplish in 2024 - which some may accomplish.  However, many will forget the resolutions after a few weeks and go back to the same shit, different day.  Many others are postin...
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  • Asset 5
    Paid in Full. It’s over.
    December 18, 2023
    Sitting in the shower floor. Just me and my thoughts. As usual. It’s basically the nightly ritual. Amazingly, the water bill hasn’t went up much. Endless hot water tanks are where it’s at for this anxiety and pain. My weekend was - useless. My budget. Ha. Forget the budget when I can drink. Just ...
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