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Asset 5

Ridiculous Internship Requirements

January 21, 2020
Another day has passed. I’m exhausted. Actually. That may be an understatement. 115 more days. But who’s counting? Have I determined how I will magically feel better? Less alone? Happier? No. Not at all. I truly don’t know. I don’t feel I even have time to figure it out. This internship remains r...
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Recent Entries

  • Asset 5
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    January 19, 2020
    Today.  Today I'm scrubbing my house like a crazy person.  It gives an outlet for the anxiety.  It keeps me busy.  Pacing.  Scrubbing.  Trying to control my surroundings since I feel I really can't control anything else. I wish I could simply flip a switch.  Change my mind set.  Not feel how I fe...
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  • Asset 5
    It’s Not Okay
    January 18, 2020
    I hate feeling like I do. I hate feeling crazy, defeated, confused, sad. Most of all I hate feeling alone. So miserably alone. I’ve been thinking lately. Maybe I should see someone myself. Maybe I need to search for a way to fuel my own soul when my entire week is spent fueling others. But…
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  • Doctor Visit Finally
    November 13, 2019
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  • Asset 5
    What’s another teenager?
    May 12, 2019
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  • Asset 5
    The constant feeling of guilt.
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    Guilt. I can't seem to pinpoint this constant anxiousness that has returned.  I had been doing so good, for so long.  Yet, suddenly I'm filled with the misery I use to feel 24/7.  My chest feels like it physically hurts.  I don't understand it.  I don't like it.  When I think about it.  Hard.  I&...
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  • Asset 5
    I’ll do whatever I have to!
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    I'm exhausted.  150% exhausted.  I'd like to go to sleep & sleep for many solid hours.  However, that's impossible since there isn't a single human in the house willing to take a night shift or watch over Kiwi closely.  So, I figured I'd write a rambling entry while I wait to head back to the...
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  • Asset 5
    Sleeping is almost too easy!
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