Seriously Can’t Win

I just simply can’t win. I feel like I’ll never be good enough for anyone. There will always be some fault in me.

Max leaves. Telling me so much hateful things. He just wasn’t attracted to me anymore. I gained weight. Maybe it was that skinny blonde he liked and that’s just not me anymore. Nah, it’s not. My hair went to shit from the hormones. So I went back to brown/red. I got fat because I was pregnant with your baby and the hormones. Yep, I lost my “perfection”.

I’m not looking for anything mom grieving this break up hard. Yet, I had been talking to one of my regular customers. Mainly as friends. Tho he told me all about the crazy crush he’s had on me. Made me feel good. We’ve hung out a few times. No sex.  Tonight he randomly texted me – “you’re sexy AF. I love the tattoos. But I’m really attracted to thick girls. I know it’s probably weird.”  Weird. Uhhh, yeah. It’s weird. Not the thick girl part but the being attracted to me and then get this thrown at me.

Too fat. Too skinny.

God damn. I’ll just date myself forever I guess.

but dumb me is heading over there as I’d like to get to the bottom of this thick vs thin thing. And how you have a crush on someone for a year if they aren’t you’re type.

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April 10, 2024

im sorry youre going through this, we are here for you. :))