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The Relationship Struggle is Real
The title says it all. Life simply feels like a struggle lately. Determining what the right thing is, who the right thing is. A struggle. It shouldn’t be. I know in my head the “right” choices. My heart isn’t having it tho. Not. At. All. My heart misses the past. It’s terrified of the future.&hel...
A little of everything.
So many changes. So much to write about. Yet, so little time. I feel like I just can’t get caught up in life. There is so much going on and I can’t handle living in the chaos or the mess of this house. So, instead of writing or sharing my feelings I’m simply trying to…
In Love, Light and Laughter
6 months of meditation, and today it was clarity, beauty and joy. Suddenly I was basked in light, connecting to above, to universe. Of course, it just never occurred to me, that the answer was always: do not aspire to be, be. All those talk about setting intention finally clicked, and how I re...
Healing After Break-Up, Dating Next
I really wanted to take a nap but realized I won’t sleep tonight if I do that. So, I took an Adderall instead and am waiting for that to kick in. In the meantime, figured I’d listen to my book and write an entry. I’m on my phone so we’ll see how long I last.…
Moving on with Hope
Three years ago, I entered a relationship with someone I had convinced was my person. We had the same interests, hobbies, and lifestyle, so I thought he had to be the one. We met on the infamous Bumble dating app; I figured how bad this app could be. My best friend met her fiancé here two years&h...
More Loss, TW Suicides.
I've got 20 minutes or so to spare before I need to leave for my next job. Decided if I typed fast I'd have time for an entry. The last few weeks have sucked. Everything freaking sucks. I'm trying to find the positives - at least I'm alive. Even that doesn't feel that positive today.…
Seriously Can’t Win
I just simply can’t win. I feel like I’ll never be good enough for anyone. There will always be some fault in me. Max leaves. Telling me so much hateful things. He just wasn’t attracted to me anymore. I gained weight. Maybe it was that skinny blonde he liked and that’s just not me anymore.…
Alone. Literally.
I’m just laying in bed. Trying to grasp how my life got… here. Alone. So utterly alone. Z, after being awful to me, moved out today. Supposedly he’s moving to Louisiana to work. He’ll be back for his surgery 5/29. I’ll believe it all when I see it. He left an awful mess in his…
Family, Religion, Holidays, IVF Baby Loss.
Easter - it means relatively nothing when you’ve got a shitty family, you’re pretty much single and you’re exhausted with life. Happy Easter to those that have legit great people to spend it with. Even if you wish you didn’t have to - be grateful you have the option. My grandparents don’t celebra...
I can’t think
I can’t think anymore. I don’t know how to participate in conversation. My boyfriend made a comment earlier that stuck with me. He said “it’s funny how when you play the sims, I do most of the talking, and now that I’m playing the sims, I’m still doing most of the talking.” He laughed but…