"No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of another." - Charles Dickens
We have all had times where we feel lost or alone. In this place, you can be supported by other Open Diary members who may have had a similar experience. The anonymity of our site allows you to open your heart and express your true feelings.
We have all had times where we feel lost or alone. In this place, you can be supported by other Open Diary members who may have had a similar experience. The anonymity of our site allows you to open your heart and express your true feelings.
You Are Not Alone Circle
The constant feeling of guilt.
Guilt. I can't seem to pinpoint this constant anxiousness that has returned. I had been doing so good, for so long. Yet, suddenly I'm filled with the misery I use to feel 24/7. My chest feels like it physically hurts. I don't understand it. I don't like it. When I think about it. Hard. I&...
Tracklist for the Ruining of Young Girls’ Lives
I’ve been thinking about the day you shot the cow in the yard. I had a Fisher Price tape recorder as a child, all primary colors and thick, chunky plastic parts. It was my favorite toy when I was little. I would constantly record everything around me, a tapestry of sounds woven by the people…
A Cradle Made of Nettles
I woke up to crescent moons of dried blood and a terrible pain this morning. Because my head is always a balloon floating about a foot above my body, I noticed my fingernails caked with blood first. I spend my nights mostly blotto these days…just feeling around in the dark for my vodka & hopi...
A Stone Flower in Medusa’s Garden
I finally told him about that Valentine’s Day... You were relentless that year in your pursuit of our mutually assured destruction. Between your addictions and my self-destruction, we were all gut rot and sore thumbs. Even though it was for different reasons, all our arms were bruised to August s...
Our Magpie Luck
Mostly, I try not to let myself think about you… but under today's snowstorm, a sky full of doves shedding their cold white feathers, I thought about you… I was thinking about that one Valentine’s Day when we were living in that efficiency where we had practically nothing. We were happy there. We...
Lungs Like Saltwater Pearls
The deep darks. That was my day. You know that scene in Ordinary People, where Conrad Jarrett remembers holding his brother’s hands over the top of their capsized boat, as the sky falls around their shoulders? There they are, holding onto each other…and then the brother is yanked under by his exh...
No Sharp Edges
CPS showed up Wednesday…as promised and dreaded…like a bill I didn’t save for, like a marathon I forgot to train for, like the final death rattle of a loved one’s tarry lungs. They read off the list of allegations I am accused of in the report. Force-fed me that gruel…I choked on each mushy mouth...
Some Inner Contemplation
As I was showering earlier (where I do most of my deepest and meaningful thinking), I started thinking about romantic movies and just how much of an impact they have had on my life as a woman. Now this might all sound very obvious, and I've certainly have already known that's what they were meant...
A Happier Version of You
My daughter drew a picture of me at school. A little happy sun above me. Me, clothed in rainbows. Jittery shock of clown red hair. Black pits for eyes. And a u-shaped smile. She points, “Look, mom! I drew you like you’re actually happy for once.” How do you not cry when your kid says…
losing mom and it’s killing me more
It happened 2 weeks ago today. It was so fast I don’t even know how it started. To see the signs now makes me regret even more not acting faster. It is inevitable to retrace my steps and scream while I realize that I could have done things differently. Mom was diagnosed with stage…