I can’t think

I can’t think anymore. I don’t know how to participate in conversation. My boyfriend made a comment earlier that stuck with me. He said “it’s funny how when you play the sims, I do most of the talking, and now that I’m playing the sims, I’m still doing most of the talking.” He laughed but it wasn’t a joke. I told him I just don’t know what to say. Because it’s true. I don’t know how to respond so I just don’t. I hate being like this. It’s worse when I’m hyper focused on something because that’s what I do to clear my brain. I fixate on some bullshit and everything around me disappears. I even tune out my own boyfriend which I’m sure makes him feel *real* appreciated. I feel like such an ass. I guess I’m so frustrated because it didn’t used to be like this. I used to love to discuss things and share my thoughts with others, I would sit in my room for hours going on the same long, passionate rants that I enviously watch my boyfriend have but now I just feel like… who cares? I don’t. I think my memory has a lot to do with it as well. I struggle to recall events that happened through out the day so if something interesting does happen, I usually don’t remember to bring it up. Or when I do, I don’t have a lot to say about it. I lose my train of thought very quickly and it’s exhausting trying to keep up so maybe after time I just stopped keeping up with it. Whatever it is, it’s greatly impacting my life and my relationships and I just want to go back to the old me who always had something to say.