#depression

Yesterday I pretty much kept myself busy. Didn't want to think about last year but it was a constant thought. No worries I was good. I didn't bring it up and I definitely didn't lash out at him. I was feeling a bit under the weather and ended up crashing pretty early anyway. He and…

This maybe the one time i write this online, because unfortunately after the 30 days I need membership, which is dumb but whatever. Here I go: I hope you take the time to  read this , and if you do. Thank you. sorry for any misspelling or grammar error im just writing my feelins and…

I've been rereading my old entries. I'm over 300 entries in and still in my first year of the diary (2009 when I was 16/17). Obviously I have been cringing at just my teenage life, but honestly I've forgotten most of this had actually happened. It doesn't help that a lot of the photos I…

Time sort of feels like it’s frozen, you know? Not really time, but sort of everything else. I can remember the ways that I used to feel all the time, but all those feelings are frozen too. Like I don’t feel much of anything except for all the bad things people are always telling me…

I have anxiety (I think). I have depression (I think). I have hypersomnia* (I think). I have ADHD. I have cripplingly low self-esteem. I'm sure of that last one (the self-esteem) and have been diagnosed with ADHD.  I definitely have the physical and emotional symptoms of the others, though I'm ne...

Trust is everything when it comes to a relationship. Here we find ourselves, neither of us trusting the other. Did I ever fully trust you? There were things that happened very early on in the relationship that caused me not to trust you. Rather than take them head on, you justified your actions, ...

My therapist said I should start journaling, so here I am. It feels like Covid really fucked everything up, but maybe it was just a catalyst for the inevitable. We started off so happy, but now neither one of us can say anything. How did we get to this place, how did we become what…

Hello world, if you are listening, it's me again. I'm struggling with my depression as it seems like I always am. Today my child woke up before me and came running into my room to tell me good morning it's time to get up. Thank you for that. It's the really small things that help…

I’m struggling. I feel like my life has become one big, black void of days and nights that repeat on an endless loop. I feel lost. Where is my purpose? What is the point? With every rising sun, I wake. I force myself out of bed, drag my feet; “Ok. Let’s get through another day.”…