#depression

The thoughts that run through my head They are sometimes negative. They are mostly positive now Then the doubt creeps in, XYZ person doesn't like you. That message went unanswered because they hate you. They refuse your help or kindness because your useless. I feel these doubts, I push down and s...

This day has been extremely dark and heavy.  I still feel like my heart is empty and like there is nothing that can fill it up. I awoke around 9:00 a.m., got ready and headed over to a friend's house to smoke some weed and head in to see It 2, even though I can't…

It has been on my mind constantly and it sounds psycho for to even being telling anyone about it but what the heck I don't know any of you and you don't know who I am! Over a month ago, I had a little depression breakdown and left our house in a terror making suicide…

Today has been a difficult day. I feel like I am a hollow person and what was of me is fading away. After getting to work this morning, I logged into the joint account that I share with my husband. I noticed that he paid over $1,500.00 on his credit card gut only added $400.00…

It has been over three weeks now since my husband and I split.  I came to my breaking point before that due to chronic stress due to my husband's chronic work issues. Here is the short story of the long story: When we first met he was unemployed but running a start up company. He…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-sOgv3Or4 *8/29/19* I feel like I posted this song before, but it may have been on facebook. I had one of my bottom front teeth pulled yesterday, so now I look even worse. I already cover my mouth most of the time when I smile, now it's a necessity. Talking to pe...

Everyone says she didn't love me the way I deserved to be loved. Everyone says she didn't deserve me. That she wasn't there for me the way I needed. Maybe they're right. Maybe, even if she decides to come back, as we have said might happen (despite divorce), maybe I should move on. Maybe I…

I  claimed I would write in my diary daily, maybe that was a bit ambitious despite my love for writing as a means of self-expression and therapy. Today has been one of the best days of my life. I understand the sense of the phrase '' Happiness is in the simple things ". Actually as…

I am excited to be writing here on OpenDiary again, though the impetus is somewhat unfocused. I do miss the solidarity of the OD community (circa the early 2000s), but the writing and the reflection that journaling requires is sometimes an emotional terrain that is hard to wade through. I have be...

Well my sister had her baby!!!! So yay on that one. I was there for the entire situation. She went into the hospital on the 6th of May and when she told me the doctors were sending her, I ran up my stairs to get dressed and go. Now I am not skinny by any…