#depression

I occasionally handwrite in various notebooks, but thought about an electronic journaling. Lo and behold... Google suggested opendiary. How could I have forgotten something I used for YEARS? Now, nearly two decades later, I reclaimed my old opendiary. I doubt I'll go back and read old entries... ...

So, yeah. This week has been a rollercoaster. I really want to just... write out how my Tuesday happened, but I think it's important that I set it up with Monday as well. Monday: As I wrote about a few hours ago, I had a "date" with my separated wife at a bar close to…

It's... been a while. It's a weird thing to write on here. I wish it were under happier circumstances. Hi, I'm Josh. I'm 35. I've got a good, not great career. I'm in the best shape of my life, and happy within myself as a person. I've got some great friends, a loving supportive family,…

   I can wake up one morning, sit up in bed and think "Okay, it's a new day... Think positive. Be happy." Then all of a sudden I have a flashback of a memory. One memory leads pushes me down a dark painful rabbit hole. And I'm not even out of the bed yet, my…

The thoughts that run through my head They are sometimes negative. They are mostly positive now Then the doubt creeps in, XYZ person doesn't like you. That message went unanswered because they hate you. They refuse your help or kindness because your useless. I feel these doubts, I push down and s...

This day has been extremely dark and heavy.  I still feel like my heart is empty and like there is nothing that can fill it up. I awoke around 9:00 a.m., got ready and headed over to a friend's house to smoke some weed and head in to see It 2, even though I can't…

It has been on my mind constantly and it sounds psycho for to even being telling anyone about it but what the heck I don't know any of you and you don't know who I am! Over a month ago, I had a little depression breakdown and left our house in a terror making suicide…

Today has been a difficult day. I feel like I am a hollow person and what was of me is fading away. After getting to work this morning, I logged into the joint account that I share with my husband. I noticed that he paid over $1,500.00 on his credit card gut only added $400.00…

It has been over three weeks now since my husband and I split.  I came to my breaking point before that due to chronic stress due to my husband's chronic work issues. Here is the short story of the long story: When we first met he was unemployed but running a start up company. He…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-sOgv3Or4 *8/29/19* I feel like I posted this song before, but it may have been on facebook. I had one of my bottom front teeth pulled yesterday, so now I look even worse. I already cover my mouth most of the time when I smile, now it's a necessity. Talking to pe...