Grief Circle
The paths we used to walk
I am crying uncontrollably. Sitting outside, on a park bench. On a bench, we used to sat, in a park, where we used to walk, in a city where we used to live, in a country we decided to move together in 2016. Passing by a house we used to live in. A house where…
Who doesn’t like Friday
Hmm, I like Fridays. But I usually have my 1-2-1 with my boss and sometimes I dread it. But I do like my boss, which is rare, so, not so bad, it is just work that is not progressing as fast as I want so it makes me feel incompetent. And today, so much for…
Just a Thursday
From the idea of writing every day, I already skipped 2 days. But ok, there was a reason so, not the end of the world. Maybe even better cause not sure if I would have something to write. Today, I want to continue investigating the "bad" habits and maybe "a solution" how to break them.…
lovers lost
Does it ever get easier? Does the heartache ever stop? Do the memories of them fade? She and I met at 22 and 20, respectively. We dated for 4 years and we’re engaged for 1.5 years before my future came crashing down. We called off our engagement and split. The relationship wasn’t perfect, but she...
Every time I get excited about something, it gets taken away.
I’ve been wondering why every time I get excited over something, it gets taken away. Like last weekend, I manifested to get new clients last week and to finally get my first bridal client. A day after I tried to manifest it, a friend called to set an appointment with me for his friend who…
Ain’t my problem.
He ain't my problem now. After months of reflecting and going back and forth about how I truly feel about my ex, I have come to a conclusion, although not as solid yet as I would want it to be, that he is someone else's problem now. After watching countless videos on attachment styles, mental&hel...
Rejected
Im broken. Beyond broken.  I hurt so deeply that I don’t know how to move forward. Im tired of crying, im tired of the pain.  I don’t know how to live my life with this devastating change. My boyfriend of the last 6 years decided to quit me early this month. He says he still…
Merry Christmas
I'm also going through a period of grief which is causing me to become even more sensitive to rejection. I just lost my 90 year old father and step mom in August. They were both in hospice and I was their primary caregiver. Today is the first Christmas holiday without them. I have trouble reachi...
Im sorry
Im sorry for having to give you up. Im sorry that I couldn't keep you. But i wasn't ready for you, i could not care for you the way you deserve to be cared for. i havent forgiven myself for what I have done, nor will i ever forget. I hope that in written this…
A letter to my mom
Ma, it's been 15 years since you passed. I think about you every day. When I was younger it never really registered to me that my mom would never be able to read me bedtime stories or comfort me when I got bullied. I'm mad at god if he's even real, mad at the world.…