Grief Circle
Im sorry
Im sorry for having to give you up. Im sorry that I couldn't keep you. But i wasn't ready for you, i could not care for you the way you deserve to be cared for. i havent forgiven myself for what I have done, nor will i ever forget. I hope that in written this…
A letter to my mom
Ma, it's been 15 years since you passed. I think about you every day. When I was younger it never really registered to me that my mom would never be able to read me bedtime stories or comfort me when I got bullied. I'm mad at god if he's even real, mad at the world.…
Screaming
Everyday I wake up screaming. My face is a mask of calm as I kiss him good morning and start our coffee. My movements feel mechanical but to my husband they look fluid- practiced. I make breakfast, feed our remaining son, kissing him good morning as his ever-growing arms wrap around my wide waist...
For my mother…
When I was younger, and too young to be aware that times were tough, my mother used what scraps we had in the fridge to prepare our supper. We were living from cheque to cheque back then and were less than two days from payday so Mom did whatever she could with whatever was available.…
i miss everyone
People around me always tell me that they applaud me for being such a strong person because despite losing my loved ones, I always manage to put on a brave face and move on. Truth is I'm so tired pretending to be strong all these years. Like so tired... Just a lil backstory, I lost my…
The Loss of Jake
My sweet, amazing almost 12 year old rescue Jake passed peacefully in his sleep yesterday. There’s no apparent reason except his age. He laid down, in his favorite spot, while I made dinner and never woke up, never made another sound. My heart is broken. I’ve always said the best thing about gett...
Four Years
For four years I've been an adult orphan. My mothers husband left her when she was diagnosed with cancer (6 years ago), and my abusive disgusting excuse for a brother moved out of the country a few months later. I never thought of it as a negative on my part. I loved spending g time…
Clench Jaw
Being the youngest in our family, my life shuts when my mother died last 2013. Mother supports my all the way, this time is a lot different, all my father's side, but the bloodline of my father are practicing cannibalism. I get to live where every touch, breathe, eats some kind of a raw meat,&hel...
20 Years & 5 Months Later, Justice for Steve
20 years later. Steve has been gone for 20 years. 20 years and exactly 5 months if you want to be specific. I think of him often. I look at my own children and so often think I can’t imagine if they were murdered tomorrow. Both of my boys are now officially older than Steve…
Already May
It’s already May. How did it get here so fast? How is it already nearly half over? Time is going too fast. We are almost at a year without Kira. An entire year. I think about her often. She was living her last days a year ago. Yet, she had no idea. She was hoping…