Stop the World…

The time between the start of a school day and the end of a school day seemed like a lifetime when I was a school kid.  I never started liking school until 8th grade, when I finally found a home.

Today, a whole school year passes by before I realize it.  I know that the passage of time is relative to how long we’ve been here, but somehow, since I’ve turned 50, I feel like the little hole in my hour glass has expanded exponentially, and time is no longer trickling out.  It’s dumping so fast, it’s hard to breathe.

My dad passed away on June 3 of 2021.  It still sneaks up on me and breaks my heart all over again.  “Father’s day is around the corner…”  Oh, yeah! I think,  I’ve got to… oh… no… I don’t.  💔

If that weren’t enough, Opie, my beautiful 14 year old mutt who was born into my hands, and was my reason for getting up when I was too sick to properly take care of myself, is showing his age.  His back legs are really giving him grief, in the morning.  We have laminate floors, and he can’t get traction.  I’ve ordered some runners, but this morning, he dragged his back half to the front door, and I felt like a horrible dog mom for putting him through that.  I have a harness for his rear, but I can’t get it on him, myself, and now I’m just grouchy and rambling.

The worst is that my mom’s been in the hospital for over a week. She’s got fluid around her heart and lungs. She’s already talking like she doesn’t think she’ll ever get out. On top of that, she’s got two adult granddaughters and their families living in the house with her, but only one of them cleans up after themselves and both scream a lot. She doesn’t need the stress.

I hate living here in Reno.  It’s at least three hours to get to see anyone I love.  It’s an exhausting drive, and I still have young nieces and nephews whose life I want to play a larger role in.  I hate that in the winter, we never know if we’ll make it to Christmas because the weather is unpredictable.  And the only reason we live here is that Drew hates California’s gun laws.  He says it’s too expensive, but so is everything else.
Gas is way more expensive here than in the Sacramento Valley.  I could probably pick up a job that I could actually do if I was back in the school districts than know me.

I also hate living in someone else’s property.  Before we moved to North Carolina, I had my own home.  It was perfect for me.  It had a huge yard, good neighbors, and I could afford it.  Now we live in an apartment, which is nice, but we have to have our garage cleaned out by the end of the month so we can park both vehicles.  We should be able to get it done in time, but it annoys the fuck out of me that someone can threaten my home because of where I park.

Most of my mood is due to the fact that one of my nephews is here to help with the garage.  It’s 12:40PM, and I’m the only conscious human in the house.

And that’s your Channel Whine News for this afternoon, Saturday, June 17, 2023.