It can seem futile

Any endeavour

It can seem broken in purpose

And coloured by my sense of self

I can seem Sisyphean the task

But so many have completed it.

I write to show you I love you

I write to let my heart breathe and flutter her wings

Otherwise she would be couped up and a stranger

And time would pass and no one would know

Furthermore you would not know that each step I take I take with your name written on my feet 👣

Every breath I take without it whispering your name is the greatest tragedy.

I have to write to fight. I have to write to love.

I have to write to understand and keep my head above the water.

The waters are deep and repetitive

It’s their repetition that makes them dangerous

I used to feel so uncomfortable I couldn’t do this

But now I can find peace.

Isn’t that something?

There are so many worries I don’t have now I know you. My existence has been justified. My plate has been filled even though I can’t always see that clearly.

I love you so dearly. My dearest friend. My reason for living.