Group impact

That was fun. Only one negative was that I was peaking on the personal energy scale. In warmer weather, I would have gone go-kart racing or bike-riding. As it was, I became fidgety, or fiesty. Maybe even frisky. Its hard to tell where the lines are.

But it was fun. I had to disclose my age when someone asked my middle name “Middle, one “the Three Middles” – a loyal cadre of friends from the class of 86.” As I was saying it, I realized I shouldn’t, but, it was too late. I was committeed to the sentance. All I was trying to do is identify the group “The Three Middles” [Middle is not my middle name, thank you]. So immediately Scully from last week’s Area-51 game goes off on how she was born in 80… [chucklling] Personally, it didn’t really bother me, and I am really only complaining about my sillyness in saying it in the first place.

But, the evening was fun. Good social mix, good Bible study. We are studying I Corinthians, chapter 3 this time. I shared book and Bible with Jill [that was pleasant! *grins*].

As a lead-in to the passages being studied, we were asked the question: Who is one person who’s opinion matters most to you? Most people answered their parents or just their father, etc. But I couldn’t really identify one person. My answer was “Whoever wears the title of Best-friend at the time. Not the position of best-friend, like your best buddy, but, even in this room right now, there is one of you that I would consider a better friend than the others. And if I had a question or a need of an opinion, it would be yours that I asked for.”

Or, words very similar to that effect.

And, it really started to sink in… I truely am about Friendship.

I don’t respect title or position for its own sake. The fact that you are a “mother” only proves that you currently have a child in your legal custody. It doesn’t make you responsible, or smarter, or in any other way respectable. The respect in those areas must be earned.

Likewise, friendship for me is merited by trust. Truth/Trust is the essential basis of my relationships. When trust has been established, a relationship has been established.

I’m not sure where I am going with this… It will be good brain fodder over the weekend.

The other thing that pressed into me last night was about closure. I was reading about others finding closure recently, And someone suggested the same for myself and my former best-friend. But, what I am discovering is that I am not born to closure. My personality type is INTP. The P is for “perceptive”, suggesting “open to possibilities” contrasted with J, “judging” which is “seeks closure”.

I find that I don’t need things “tied up”. I like them to be, but I don’t depair when they aren’t. (I do feel more pressure sometimes, like if I have projects that never die – those I complain about, but in that case, a project is something that must be closed to be completed correctly. I am speaking here about other kinds of things). More so with people – I don’t need to have closure with people. I like it, it is helpful, but not neccessary. This is a new realization to me; its apparently true all my life, but I have never sought to look at the data this way before.

I am curious now to go back and carefully review the data in light of this hypothesis, and to go forward and analyze the implications for this truth in my life.

So, anyway, it was a good evening. I have some thinking to do.

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By the way, you are forbidden to make any more entries. Because, obviously, 23 is the perfect number of entries.

February 26, 2001

I think I’m quite confused. Did I know you under another diary name? Sorry if that should be obvious, I haven’t read all your entries yet. I’m a big slacker when it comes to reading.

found me through tyler i see?.. anyways no i don’t give up on my friends.. i find that pathetic i have never given out on them as much as they ahve given out on me. as for have i had a spiritual invento?.. im assuming have i done a thing to find my spiritual gifts?.. and the answer to that is yes. Thanks for readin my diary the last two entries have been pathetic but oh well what can you do!Sarah