Patrisha

July 17, 2005

A Brief Update

This afternoon my brother-in-law finally accepted the fact that my sister needs to be in hospice care rather than having people coming to the house. An ambulance will come to get her on Thursday morning and he will ride with her. Toby {my nephew} and I will go over later in the evening to visit her and bring him back with us.

This big decision was precipitated by the fact that BIL went to his doctor today and found that he is not doing so well. His doctor told him he had to get relief from the stress. Then the hospice woman came round to say there was a bed. The final thing that made him accept this was that she said she wanted to go. She can see what looking after her is doing to him. He gets less than 4 hours of sleep a night and his blood pressure has also risen dangerously.

The very nice hospice woman suggested that he might want to come home at night for the first few days and get caught up on his sleep but that if he wanted to stay with her at night after that, she would see that there was a bed for him. Both their children feel this is best for both their parents.

I think it is best too but after I said that when he asked me for my thoughts, I felt such a pang of loss that I could hardly bear it..

momof2boys2

July 18, 2005

If she is agreeing to go then it is what is best. She could be like this for a while and it just makes sense at this point to do it. If she feels better maybe she can come home for a couple of days. Things have a way of working out. As long as she has agreed it makes it that much better. God Bless.

Hormone Hell

Hospice is the best. I am a hospice nurse, and I would want good hospice care for anyone I love. I am sorry that is a decision that had to be made. Stay strong.

All Cats Rule

I’m sorry Patricia… this is terrible. I’m glad though that you get to spend some time with her….

Lily47

I just heard yesterday that a friend of mine is going to hospice. Yes we know it is the best for them and their families but it seems so final–and we know it IS final–so it’s hard. It sounds like you are a help to your brother in law during this hard time.

Mezzo

Ohhhhhh, I’m so sorry! I know how hard this has to be…You are all in my prayers. Maybe it will be easier once it’s done… Hang in there. Robbie couldn’t ask for a better sister!!!!! Love to you! ~M

The Kid

Oh, my friend – I can imagine how you felt – I feel it now, putting myself in your shoes – however…there must be a little relief there, too? She wants this – Hospice is an AMAZING thing/place… Prayers for you & Sis & Fam, Hugs,

TheWoodsprite

Hospice can provide a nice peaceful transition place. It seems to please your sister that her husband will not have to be so burdened that when she departs, he will suffer bad health in addition to grief. That HER mind and heart are at ease is what is most important. I know the feeling of sorrow that they are slowly leaving, though…. hugs, Weesprite

daisymarie

I’m glad y’all were able to work through to the decision. Blessings.

Violet

Even though a hospice provides the most caring environment, it’s so difficult because it’s so … *final.* I’m sorry that it hurts so much, knowing how close you are to your sister. (((Hugs)))

ILuvCats

I’m sorry. {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

This is so sad, I’m sorry. *hugs*

greeneyes&sunflowers

*huggs* I am sorry

Shi

Oh dear, so hard for all of you. I will hold you all in my thoughts.

VeronicaCorningstone

MargUK

Your sister would probably be much more comfortable there & also easier in her mind knowing it takes some of the strain off your BIL & yourself & the kids. Still a hard decision though & a coming to terms of the next stage I suppose. Take care,

Bless your heart Patrisha. I send my prayers to you and those you love.

~seafarer

(((hugs)))

Chalandra

I know that pang of loss — like a knife twisting heart and soul. I am sorry.

greenthumb

You have been a godsend to him,and probably to her;being there makes all the difference in allowing them the relief to make such decisions,knowing you support them.Bless your family and keep them comfortable and content,whatever comes.