Connected Souls?

User “Elizabeth Barstone – Novelist” recent penned an entry called “Kindred Spirits”.  Feel free to check out her entry:

Kindred Spirits

In perusing Open Diary as I do from time to time, I happened to stumble upon her entry.  Not surprisingly, I decided to give it a closer look.  As I read it, it made me think of a young lady I met many, many years ago where she and I worked.  Sadly, I don’t even remember her name.  What I do remember is the connection we established almost instantly and while that connection was short-lived, for the moment that it existed, it was very intense and it felt very natural, like we had been long-time friends, even though we were meeting for the first time.

I used to work for an organization that specialized in the daily and “’round-the-clock” care of disabled adults of varying ages.  This organization ran multiple “houses” where these adults would live and each house was staffed with people who would be in these houses 24/7/365 and even on holidays.  Some of these houses featured nursing staff that would also be present around the clock as well, for those residents who had certain health conditions that might require a nurse’s assistance at the drop of a hat.  While this happened many years ago, I only remember being especially close to just one particular nurse, whose name I still do not recall.  I’m hoping that as I write this, her name will come back to me, though I’m doubtful that it will just don on me out of the blue.  So, for the purpose of this entry, I will refer her by the clever moniker “Nurse”.

Nurse was a petite Latina, who I remember was very attractive.  She was smart and quite the conversationalist.  We hit it off almost immediately.

During my time working with this organization, I was not a nurse.  No, I had a much less skilled position there.  I was a driver there, where I was responsible for driving vans or buses and transporting residents to their various medical appointments, or really, wherever they needed to go.  Sometimes I was even called upon to drive the residents and their staff to and from outings and trips into the community.  Some of these residents were wheelchair-bound and when they were being transported, they would require that their wheelchairs be tied down using special tie-downs.  I worked for this organization for just under six months.

I met Nurse during one of the transportation assignments.

I was tasked with transporting Nurse and the client in her care that day into a neighboring county for a medical appointment.  This particular male resident was mentally compromised.  He was maybe in his late teens, though he was not likely to have been over the age of 21.  He looked like he was 13-years old.  He had a very youthful and juvenile look to him.  His hair was rarely combed and always looked as though he had just gotten out of bed.  Being that Nurse would help dress him, he looked presentable that day.  I don’t remember what the nature of his physical incapacities or mental deficiencies happened to be.  All I knew is that he required a nurse to accompany him to that appointment because apparently, a standard staff person wasn’t going to cut it.  I never asked why.  I guess I didn’t care because Nurse was there and that would suffice.

From our first contact all the way through our time together that day, Nurse and I hit it off.  I can’t explain it.  I didn’t plan it.  We just seemed to get along and it made that day that much more comfortable and passable.  We spoke of our life experiences up to that point.  We made jokes.  I suppose we flirted a bit.  We had eventually reached a point where everything we said had a double meaning.  Indeed, the double entendres were flowing.  Maybe in some way, it felt like we were on a first date?  Regardless, she was a blast to talk to and I want to say that she enjoyed interacting with me that day as well.  I never explicitly asked her.  I didn’t think I needed to.

Maybe a spark was there?  Did our souls truly connect?  Was Nurse truly a kindred spirit?  Was Nurse attracted to me and/or my thoughts?

To all those questions above, the best response I can give is a simple:

I don’t know. 

I never asked her or myself any of those questions.  Truly, I didn’t know Nurse beyond that interaction, but I want to say that we were off to an excellent start.  I don’t know if she made my heart flutter, but being around her felt really good.  Maybe we had at least created a foundation on which we could have built something?  Perhaps.  Again, I don’t know for sure.  In fact, I’ll never know.

Later that same week, when I was in the organization’s main office one morning, the lead secretary there had casually inquired as to how my transport with Nurse and her resident went.  The lead secretary was the one who was responsible for giving me my transportation schedule every Monday, which showed me all the appointments for which I would be transporting residents that week.  Obviously, she was aware of the run I made with Nurse and her resident.  I told her that everything went well and that Nurse was really cool and fun to talk to.

Secretary (I don’t remember her name either and I’m too lazy to make one up for her) then tells me that she hoped that I kept my hands clean and ideally, away from that resident.  I didn’t know why she felt the need to tell me that, though it made me wonder what she was getting at.  I proceeded to ask her what she meant by that.  Her response, and I’m paraphrasing, went something like:

“Oh, Nurse didn’t tell you?  That kid has herpes.  Or at least, we think he does”. 

Damn.  Nurse was holding out on me.  Clearly, she was withholding some crucial information from me.  Now, I will be honest.  Given my role as merely just a driver for the organization, it was rare that I would ever come in direct physical contact with any of the residents there anyway.  Still, I would have liked to have known that there was the potential for exposure to herpes.

I remember telling Secretary that I would be right back and that I needed to chat with Nurse.  Secretary was well aware as to why.  Sure, I could have just as well called the house where Nurse was assigned that day, which happened to the same one where that potentially herpes-infected resident was living, but that wasn’t going to cut it.  No, I needed to talk to Nurse in-person.  Of course, maybe I wanted to see her again?

I arrive at the house and immediately ask where Nurse was.  I don’t remember where she was, but when she came out and we made eye contact, she smiled at me.  As to not be an asshole, I smiled back at her.  When she got close to me, I asked her if I could talk to her outside.  I don’t know what she may have thought I was going to ask or say to her, but I knew where I was going with this conversation.

Hey, I wanted to ask you.  Why didn’t you tell me that that resident had herpes? 

She kept a straight face and her tone was cool, calm, and collected as she replied (and again I’m paraphrasing, of course):

He doesn’t have herpes.  For some reason, there’s this rumor that’s been going around for a while that he does, but he doesn’t.  I wear gloves all the time, especially whenever I’m around residents, in the event that I have to touch any of them for whatever the reason.

I didn’t have any reason to question her.  I pretty much had no choice but to let it go and otherwise be content with her answer.  And for the record, she looked just as pretty as she did when I first met her, medical scrubs and all.

That would be the last time I would see or converse with Nurse, as I would leave the organization a few weeks later.

Obviously, for me to write this entry, I would have had to remember Nurse and that one day we connected.  After all these years, it still resonates with me.  Unfortunately, as we may have created that foundation, not one single brick was dropped onto that foundation and nothing ever happened between Nurse and me.  Nothing was ever built.

Consider me having run back to that cave, though it wasn’t intentional.  My time with the organization ended and life had me move in a completely different direction.  As it stands, there is definitely nothing to see here and there hasn’t been for several years.

Was Nurse a kindred spirit?  I can’t readily say.  Maybe?  The world will never know.

Maybe the spark was there, but it was ultimately doused almost as quickly as it was first lit.

Still, it felt amazing to connect with someone so quickly and so deeply, even though whatever we might have had didn’t last very long.