How To Read The Bible
Reposted with permission… more wisdom from the mind of my dear friend Zombywoof.
Peter
How To Read the Bible
It’s easy.
When it says something you agree with, take it literally.
But when it says something you disagree with, it’s just a parable.
When it says something factual, it’s the true word of god.
But when it says something ridiculous, something clearly got lost in translation.
When it says to rest on the Sabbath
That could mean Saturday or Sunday
Or any other day that is convenient for you
Or a “day” could mean 100 billion years
Or nothing at all, if that suits you.
When it says something clear and coherent
Remember that god loves you
And wants you to know his will.
But when it says something convoluted and ambiguous
Remember that god is unknowable
And works in mysterious ways.
Never mind Yahweh
When he floods the Earth
And levels cities
And condones rape and pillaging
And slavery and bigamy
Ignore it
He gets a lot nicer in the second act
And only kills his own son.
But if you see something you like
In Leviticus
Or Numbers
Go ahead and use it.
Whatever you want,
It’s there.
You want a vengeful god, start at Genesis
You want a bureaucratic god, read Deuteronomy
You want a loving hippie god, read the Gospels
You want a creepy lightning-chucker, read Revelations
Perhaps you will realize
That the only ethics in the Bible
Are the ones you brought in with you
And the only facts in the Bible
Are the ones you verified personally
Perhaps you are god
After all.
you read it through your heart and then you can find out what it really means, that’s the only way …but it’s still quite a puzzle but it’s supposed to be. I don’t think I am god.
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and God DOES love me. He may be the only one, but he does.
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This is amazing.
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Cheers
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Love it.
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ever seen the movie Religulous? you should watch it. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815241/
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holy ****, zombywoof! i saw that name on the frontpage and stopped dead. that guy was all right.
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haha. so funny, so true – but people read everything that way, using quotes as they see fit!
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so true!
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You forgot to say “If you question a believer on what it says in the Bible, you are an unbeliever and will burn in Hell.” (Because they don’t know the answers and God will judge me in their absence…)
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I may have to steal this too! Your first noter is a perfect example…
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lol I find it very funny!
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“Your first noter is a perfect example…” No… the first noter didn’t call anyone stupid or offer any specific, convoluted response. He/she said it’s supposed to be a mystery, politely disagreeing, and was mocked by you. Nice. I actually think this is funny, because Zomby’s right… if you’re dealing with the Notliberals of the world. But we aren’t all like that, so don’t treat us the same.
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I believe in God, but I wouldn’t bash anyone or make fun of someone who had different beliefs either. I think people should be allowed to believe what they want to, and not be made fun or ridiculed for it. That is just my stupid little opinion:)
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I think that is spot on.
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I approve.
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