Of Bullying

All I really want to do is disconnect and shut down. I am having a much harder time dealing with the apathy than before.

Because of our new principal I hate going to work every single day. It’s become a roulette wheel of who is going to be bullied that day – will it be a kid? a parent? a staff member? a teacher? This person is freaking insane! It’s like dealing with Gollum/Smeagol – you never know if you are going to have someone kind leading you along the path, or have your head smashed while you sleep with a rock…

Now take into consideration that I was bullied in school from 1st grade until I graduate high school. That is 12 years out of 30 of operative conditioning in regards to bullying. I’m better than when I was a kid, but fucking hell people – I’m being bullied as an adult BY an adult who is suppose to be leading my school.

Anyone that does not bow down and do what they are ordered to do without question is targeted. Anyone who thinks for themselves, or who questions, or who has the audacity to try to start something on their own without expressed pre-approval will be the next one targeted.

It does not matter who they are. This principal is not only going after teachers, they have gone after the aides at my school and threatened their jobs, the janitorial staff and threatened their contract with the school, parents AND KIDS have been bullied as well. INCLUDING my Valedictorian, who is one of the most amazing young people I have ever worked with. And “someone” from the school called and tried to have a full-ride scholarship taken away from my co-salutatorian because “they are a poor representation of the organization.” – Only one person has the contacts to even make that attempt.

What the fuck is wrong with this adult? Who in their right mind would actually actively try to destroy the future of a kid?

Hell, the principal even threatened the chair of the PTO recently because the PTO wanted to step in and actually mediate between pissed of parents and the principal to try to make things better. The PTO wanted to help both sides come to a mutual understanding, and the PTO chair was threatened…

Since October I cannot bring myself to do things for school. I can do things for my kids no problem, things for the other teachers – sure. But any thing beyond my teaching duties during the day, I just end up staring at my computer and doing everything I can to avoid them…

Everyone is so beaten down that no one is able to stand up to the principal. No one is willing to make themselves the next target…

But because of my union position, I am about to – and that fucking scares me. I am not really afraid of what she will do to me once I start – there are state and federal laws that protect me – I am afraid of what will happen if my plan does not work.

Right now about 80% of the staff is ready to quit and would tomorrow if not for the kids. And that says nothing of the kids. After Christmas break I had to talk almost my entire senior class into NOT dropping out of school. They wake up sick every morning. The thought of going to school is causing panic attacks. They are afraid to be in school – not because of other students or their teachers, they are afraid of the principal.

What the fuck does that say about my school????

I don’t even know where to begin to try to fix this.