somber like

My meds feel like they might be working. I’ve had an appetite for the last 2 days. There’s no longer a heavy cloud over me. My thoughts are still racing but I don’t feel heavy. Constantly pushed to the ground by who knows what force. I sang in the car last night. That’s always a good sign. I feel most anxious in the mornings. I suppose it’s because that’s when I remember everything at once. It might also be that it’s when I take my next med. I should sustain that. It might be for the best. I wonder how different things could have turned out had I kept taking them. I’m actually hungry now. I’ve lost a ton of weight yet again. I’m more optimistic about what my life could be in the next few years but I still don’t care much for it. I figure I just do what needs to be done. I’m reading now. I’m about to finish 2 books and have at least 2 others started and 2 audios. My brain needs constant stimulation otherwise I retrieve to my thoughts. I don’t like it in there.

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