Pain in my Heart

I knew it! I knew it!

As soon as I became happy about finding a love of my own…ZAP! Mr. Lovesnatcher comes and snatches him away!

: ( I was so happy! I was thrilled. I felt giddy and alive! I knew that I shouldn’t be happy. I knew I shouldn’t put my eggs in one basket too soon. Double A does love me. He loves me more than words can say. He just doesn’t love me as I thought he did. : ( (sigh)

He told me that this penpal of his revealed to him that she has romantic feelings for him. My heart sank! My heart felt as if a stake was driven inside me deeper this time. All morning long he kept telling me how much he loved me and how much he enjoyed my poem to him. We exhanged virtual kisses and hugs. I called him my Axle Bear. Then he gave me a virtual massage. Then he said that he loved me more than I could ever know!I was so thrilled and happy. But I am beginning to doubt if I will ever find a soulmate. I don’t think I was ever meant to be a match for anyone. I am like a mismatched sock. Alone without a partner. : ( (sigh)

I feel so sweet and sour. On one hand I am so grateful for his friendship. He is truly a godsend. On the otherhand I have this doubt that is eating away at my heart and I don’t ever know if I can be reassured of anybody’s love. I feel like there is a dark cloud hovering over my head that dampens my prospects of finding love.

Today I have pain in my heart.

Today I have tears in my eyes.

Today my spirits are dampened…

and I don’t know whether I’ll ever be the same again.

: (

Maggie