22.05.2023

It happened again.

It doesn’t feel the same this time.  When I woke up a week ago I felt broken.  Today I don’t feel anything, except maybe acceptance.

Hes being sweet today.  I actually smiled watching him with her.  It’s like her confidence blossoms under his praise.  She usually shrinks, but today her head is high.

He let her dig a hole on the excavator yesterday, when I asked what it was for he joked and told me it was for me.

After it happened I went and lay in that hole last night and smoked a cigarette.  I think lying there helped me find my calm and some perspective.

She’s okay.  Isn’t that all that really matters?

I said I was good this morning…. And I think I actually might be.