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29.05.2023

May 29, 2023
Today I want to face everything head on. At least that’s how it started… Im tired of being a mess.  I hate feeling unsure.  I miss my confidence. I can’t even find my words today to express how I feel. Facing everything head on is less appealing than it was this morning.  Now I just…
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Recent Entries

  • 28.05.2023
    May 28, 2023
    Perspective. I keep hoping that time will give me more of it, but it just makes everything more unclear. Two days ago I had a plan.  I was resolved in my decision, no matter what the outcome…. And then he did the dishes. How can something so simple play such head games with me?  How…
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  • 26.05.2023
    May 26, 2023
    This is not the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I lost my mom.  I curled up in her bed while she gasped for every breath.   That was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. People that had no business being there came in the room…
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  • 24.05.2023
    May 24, 2023
    One step forward forward… Ten steps back.
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  • 23.05.2023
    May 23, 2023
    There’s a whirl wind of emotions today. I feel like a yo-yo. One minute there is a sense of relief, I feel motivated to move forward, my confidence is growing. The next there is no wind in my sails.  I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and hibernate.  Bury my head until it’s…
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  • 22.05.2023
    May 22, 2023
    It happened again. It doesn’t feel the same this time.  When I woke up a week ago I felt broken.  Today I don’t feel anything, except maybe acceptance. Hes being sweet today.  I actually smiled watching him with her.  It’s like her confidence blossoms under his praise.  She usually shrinks, but t...
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  • 21.05.2023
    May 21, 2023
    I feel like I have so much to say today, but I can’t find the words. I spent the morning in the hospital.  It was my own fault.  They wanted me to stay, but I left. I’m not sure that I learned a lesson from it though.  Im not sure that the actions weren’t worth…
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  • 20.05.2023 (2)
    May 20, 2023
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  • 20.05.2023
    May 20, 2023
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  • 19.05.2023 (2)
    May 19, 2023
    I’ve spent too much money on make up. I’ve watched all the videos online as to how to mask my secrets. I should cancel tonight.  She’ll see through my bullshit.  She always does.  I can’t afford to let her see through it. I haven’t eaten since Sunday.  We’re going to my favourite restaurant.  Wil...
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