I’m sat in the parking lot of a school trying to talk myself into putting a smile on my face and pretend everything is wonderful and watch A’s volleyball game.
Yesterday was a good day… work wise anyway. I was beginning to feel like myself again. It was a long evening and I could feel my high wearing off as it wore on. By the time I got home from A’s hockey game I was almost completely depleted.
I didn’t sleep, I’m sure that’s contributing to where I am today. Things started out well. I was determined to get back to how I was feeling yesterday… and then I let one comment get in my head. I’m sure it wasn’t meant the way that I felt it, but I let it hurt me none the less.
I spent the rest of the day trying to bury myself in work and made myself be productive, trying to block out the negative reel playing in my head.
I had to go to town to make an appearance at a retirement lunch. I saw M there and tried to play the part to perfection after our last heart to heart where she gave me more than a little tough love.
Now I’m tired. A deserves me at my best, so I’m trying to gather whatever I have left in me for her.
Just a few more hours.