The waiting is the hardest part.

I have some problems of late.
I just need a place to sort it out and as always this is where I sort it out.
Well technically my friendship with Jay is not a problem. IT is because I am friends with him and the trouble we got into that I have problems. SUch as..I need to medicate myself to sleep. I worry about the trouble I might have gotten him into and if he will make it out alive.
I do not care normally if people like me. I do not care normally if I lose a friendship but I do in this case because if I do it will be because of another technical mishap in my personality.

I have lived my life a certain way and I think I might be on the eve of my destruction.
I live for myself. and Maybe for the few handfuls of people I care about and I dont generally look for the big picture. I think this in itself is going to eventually kill me.

*this love has taken its toil on me, I said goodbye to many times before, My heart is breaking in front of me. I have said just way to many goodbyes before*

I think I made a mess I cant fix.
I think I bit off more then I can chew and this time there is no way out.

"I want to talk to you"
" The last time we talked. You reduced me to tears"

I can be down. I can be blue..I can be violet skies.
I can be anything you like.
YOu put my life on the brink. WHy dont you like yourself.
I like you.
That is all.
SIarai