12/29/06 *EDIT*

well, i really have nothing to type about…

yeah, thats a lie.  this is going to sound so stupid…  who am i kidding.  it is so stupid.  i’m stupid.

so i haven’t been in my room all day, but my computer is online, like it always is.  so i come in here and see that i have a message on Yahoo!  at first, i didn’t recognize the name, but then suddenly it hit me!  it was my ex’s best friend (or one of them).  she was getting ahold of me to just say hi.  the only thing i could think about the entire time we were talking was "is she going to talk/ask about maija?"  she didn’t… and i’m kinda glad she didn’t.

its weird.  we broke up over 5 years ago, and most of the time i don’t think of her… ever.  but every once in awhile, something will happen, and i won’t be able to get her out of my head for a week.  not a few hours, or a day or two… but a week or more.

i feel as strongly about her now and i did then, and i feel very badly that it turned out the way it did.  looking back, i would have preferred to stay friends.  she was the best friend i ever had. 

don’t get me wrong.  my best friends now are great!  but, i’ve never been able to be so true with someone other than her.  it could be because we were dating.  *shrugs*

anyway… i don’t know why i’m writing about this.  its probably not a good idea that i am, but i needed to talk about her without people rolling their eyes at me, or telling me how bad she was for me (something i still don’t agree with).  i wanted to talk about it without feeling guilty.

so… there you have it.  i am going to torture myself for the next few days for no reason…  all because her friend got online and talked to me.

her friend, incidently, is engaged and doing very well at her work.  that was good to hear.

blah.

*EDIT*

i just looked at the headlines and i realize there is alot more thats bringing me down.  and i’m sorry if any of you disagree with what i’m about to talk about, but its my diary, so sod off…

Saddam Hussein is about to be executed.  probably within the next 24 hours.  now, i’m not a huge proponent of the death penalty to start with… but i have this very scary feeling that killing him now will be like opening the doors of Hell… and i don’t particularly believe in that either.

it just seems that this is not the right course of action.  i’m almost positive that many people will disagree with me on this.  however, there is also a good reason why most of the world has rid themselves of capitol punishment.  let me know what you think…

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December 29, 2006

there’s someone who i will randomly see and not be able to get out of my head for weeks. its crazy. its like falling over and over for the same person.

December 29, 2006

I really appreciate your notes. They made me feel better when nothing else was. Fortunately, I’m better now. It’s a little weird, but oh-so exhilarating. It’s amazing how things can haunt you after so long, don’t you think? I’ll read some more soon.

December 29, 2006

Ooh la la. Good luck. I’m sure you’re a stud and have nothing at all to worry about. =] Have fun.

December 29, 2006

about saddam: i believe he deserved to be put to death. however, i don’t feel that celebrating his death or making a media spectacle about it is the right thing but it is what is happening right now. i don’t think we should be celebrating another human being’s death no matter the atrocities. but the families of all the people he murdered, tortured, etc. deserve justice.

You know, it is scary to think about. I didn’t even know he was really going to be hanged, and I got online after work and saw the headlines and I didn’t even know what to think. I think you might be right, but I hope for everyone’s sake that you’re wrong. It’s really scary. Anyway, good luck with the whole girl thing. XO

December 30, 2006

Hullo. Why did you guys break up? If you don’t want to go there that’s cool. I don’t want to get started on the death penalty. Mostly because I don’t really know what to think about it and I would leave 8 notes that don’t really say anything… Anyway have a lovely one!

December 30, 2006

I often think of a particular past relationship from about 10 years ago. I found that the times he pops into my head is within the week of our first meeting and again the last time we saw each other, wierd I know.

December 30, 2006

P.S. take the little test that is linked on my front page! I bet I know what you will be, but I’m curious! Hurry Hurry! And then tell me =)

December 31, 2006

Hmm… cute tall black haired, silver eyes boys to mac on, that have their life devoted to anime. A gal can dream. Though, I have a slight aversion to hotel boys from a past experience *shudders*. Plus, I’m kind of curious on what it’s like to mac on boys. Since before my TMJ was really bad and hence I tried it, it was painful and didn’t do it. And now, my jaw is 75% better, so I’m curious.

December 31, 2006

I just don’t like how it seems that the US gets involved in everyone else’s business when they don’t focus on their own problems first. Hope you have a happy new year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR HOPE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRU FOR YOU