2/19/22

I couldn’t think of a title for this entry, depression is rearing it’s ugly head.  It started 2 days ago and I think it started when Chels had to cancel our lunch. I’m really lonely and I think that’s some of it too although it feels chemical.   The wellbutin was working so well up until then, I’m not sure what happened although I don’t see an end in sight because we’re expecting a lot of snow Monday and Tuesday and I hate snow and all the work that comes with it.  My truck is great but it’s really hard to get snow off the back because of the wings behind the back window, it ‘s an Avalance if you know what that is so I have to go out several times a day to make sure there’s not a lot of snow on it, that makes it easier.  But this time we’re expecting 3 to 5″ overnight so that will be tough in the morning, then I have to move it for the plow when it clears our parking lot.  Ugh.

I’m going to read “The power of positive thinking” today by Norman Vincent Peale.  It’s a really wonderful book and it always helps so I’m hoping it does the trick today.  I was supposed to lower one of my meds but I didn’t because of the depression just in case that  made it worse, all I can do is read that book and try and think positive thoughts.

I haven’t been real good about writing every day, I had nothing good to say so why say anything at all.  As you can see my mood has not been good.  I find comfort in watching my shows so I’ve been doing a lot of that and it helps.  Especially watching The Mentalist, the main character is so positive it’s hard not to feel good  watching him.

I so miss my friends on here, they’re notes always made me feel so good and marshal my thoughts plus they always had good insights and encouragement and I loved reading their entries too.  How could I ever feel lonely when I had such good friends on here?  I’ve been reading a few diarists here and that’s been fun getting to know them, I hope to find more.  Writing in here used to give me such comfort but now I find myself struggling to find things to say, I miss the old days when words flowed effortlessly.

My clock is ticking away and the day is going fast and I want to get started on my book so I’ll close now. Have a great day.

Blessings