08/27/2009
i am so tired. i am a zombie. i think it’s PMS but it’s also that this child, now 11 months (see ^), doesn’t sleep. he has never slept. he might never sleep ever. and we are done with it. we don’t know what to do. he’s up twice in the night to eat and ppl keep telling us not to feed him but he guzzles it. who am i to deprive him if he really is hungry? he’s huge. it’s quite possible he needs that food. dennis is about ready to leave him crying in his crib (he says he has til he’s a year) but beau loves me so much and relies on me so much that i can’t do it. plus that’s unfair to sawyer. he likes to sleep with me and i have to let him if i want any sleep. by the time he’s asleep, so are we, and we don’t wake up to put him in his crib. ugh. i’m so sick of this. i just can’t do it anymore. i don’t want to be a co-sleeper anymore. it disrupts my sleep.
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i’m so seriously done, guys. some of you will understand. dennis walked into the office the other day and one of the girls said "is beau still not sleeping through?" he said no. and later asked her why. she could tell b/c he looks so tired. imagine how i look. i’m the one wrestling him in the night and trying to get him to sleep. all dennis does is put water into a bottle and hand it to me (we keep the water and formula seperate and then just mix in our bedroom) and sometimes changes a bum. that’s it. and if for some reason sawyer is up, he tends to him. dennis gets to turn his back on us and go to sleep and i find myself wishing i could do that too. i have dark circles under my eyes and headaches and i’m barely able to get the energy to go on walks and such. we’ll see if i get back to myself after i have AF. i’m pretty sure some of this is PMS, like i said. i pray it is b/c i haven’t got anything more in me.
we need a solution. we need a break. i’m just praying his teeth pop out (he has to be teething b/c he’s poooping like mad. he’s not even in cloth diapers this week, it’s so bad. it was so much last week, he ended up with diaper rash.) we need a frickin miracle here.
between working at the restaurant, working online, and trying to take care of these small people, i’m burnt out. why can’t he be like sawyer? just in this one case? just with sleeping? i don’t care about him being a high maintenance baby otherwise. but the sleeping? i need him to be like his brother. NEEEED.
in better news, he’s taking quite well to a cup. i’m putting his formula in a cup lately here and there to see how he does. he’s doing fine. not quite there yet but i hope to switch him to milk in a cup after he’s a year old. it’ll be easier if he’s accustomed to the cup already. sawyer was really easy to switch over. we’ll see how mr. beau does.
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Marilyn never slept well. She was about 2 before she slept through the night. She’s 4 now and we still fight almost everynight to try to get her to go to sleep. I gave up on naps a while ago, even though she needs them, I don’t have to energy to fight her. Sophie is 6 months now and gets up probably… 4 times a night. She goes back to sleep easily but still…
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Andrew was like that with the sleep, it took FOREVER to get him to sleep without disturbing us through the night, in fact, it wasn’t until about age 4 that he began to be a normal sleeper. I TOTALLY and COMPLETELY feel your pain, and I was a working mom too on top of it. *hugs*
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Have you tried talking to the doctor about feeding him different things at night? I don’t know how you guys do things (all families are different) but one of my boys was like that at 8 months so I started feeding him EVERYTHING that I eat expecially at night and he was out!
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I’m sorry! I hope you guys get some sleep soon. Can’t you let your mom and Dennis’ mom babysit one weekend or something? Hope you find a solution. *hugs*
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feed him ‘night night’ foods that are supposed to make you sleeps. he’s gotta fill up on something, somehow. ‘top his tank’ and put his butt in his own bed. when we move, bryce will be sleeping in his own bed again whether he likes it or not.
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*hugs* I totally feel you. Savino finally started sleeping through about 3 or 4 nights a week, but he STILL wakes up at least once or twice a night a few days a week. I’m so sorry :(. It’s totally frustrating. CIO doesn’t work on Savino, I wish it did because I totally would have let him cry if it had, I was ready to rip my hair out too. I hope it’s something that Beau grows out of soon.
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Ryn: That sucks! Kaleigh never slept through the night until she was over 2 yrs old. It was NO FUN! Colby started to sleep through the night once he hit about 13/14 mos and was weaned! lol
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RYN: It is crazy overpriced, the ‘authentic’ jerseys are $180 and up! and I’m not even sure what the difference is between the replicas and the authentics so I’m sure as hell not paying double for the ‘better’ one. Yeah, a parent can only take so many kids shows and movies too lol I need adult TV for at least an hour a night!
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awe 🙁 ****Hugggggs**** i hope he lets you sleep.. hang in there hun!
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*hugs* xxx
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I’m sorry to hear about Beau not doing well with sleeping. That sounds really taxing. I hope things improve.
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Thanks 🙂 Yeah, that person is cleary NOT a parent and has no idea what kids are supposed to weigh. A 21 pound 4 month old? That’s insane!
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ryn: Thanks! But the one I already did of you was too minor to really show off the editing. I’ll keep an eye out though. 🙂
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RYN: LOL!!
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It’s odd, one of my other faves just wrote a very similar entry about being basically a zombie during the day and practically sleepwalking. I told her it’s probably because she has two kids under five (one an infant like yours) and her husband is working a lot. That leaves a LOT of work for mom. Could your mom or sister babysit a little bit more until beau’s sleep evens out? Even one break a week would be a real relief, i’m sure…
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damien didn’t really sleep too well until after he was a year old. i hope it gets easier for you soon
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I’m so sorry 🙁 Vincent still isn’t sleeping through the night either. I’m one of the looking ones who can sleep through him nursing though, so I don’t wake up too much. It does get frustrating on some nights and all I want to do is pull out my hair, however (especially if he won’t go back down for some reason). And, of course, if Vincent sleeps in – Hayden is up at hte crack of dawn. And vice versa. [hugs]
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*lucky ones
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Hope he gets over this not sleeping quickly.
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I’m really sorry he’s still not sleeping. I’d be so tempted to drug him by now. Like seriously. I feel for you. RYN: Well, I kinda tend to agree with you. Like, why SHOULD I initiate yet again? you’re right, I do deserve the best sex ever and he should have to start it. Only fair. kristen
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Also. I think some Xanax would be great. Like maybe when I go back I’ll ask for some Xanax for the times like that. I’m always just worried they’re gonna think I’m a drug seeker. Cause while I’m at it, I’d kinda like something for sleep. Ambien, Restoril, Lunesta…what have you. I don’t really care. I can’t sleep on my nights off. I guess maybe just decreasing the anxiety with the Zoloft would help that too, though. I dunno. kristen
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Oh man I am SO sorry! I would be a cranky bitch if I didn’t get the sleep through the night. And I really don’t think I would want to co-sleep at all. When I’m sleeping I am like LEAVE ME ALONE!
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I hope it’s a short phase. Co sleeping isn’t for everyone, srsly.. Cage cosleeps but I put him where he can’t scoot to the booby or he’d be attached to me all night and I’d never freakin sleep.
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It is so very frustrating when they don’t sleep especially when your not feeling up to par yourself! You really should try the own bed thing, it may take 3 to 4 days but may be worth it! Also if he really is that hungry maybe its time for more solid food, it’s just a suggestion! Good Luck!
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yes, i am a hairstylist 😀
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Aw hun, I wish I could say I know what you’re going through :(I know it can’t be easy!!Isn’t it so frustrating that two siblings can be so different? I would say try to cut back on the feedings, he probably doesn’t need it but is just growing used to them so he THINKS he needs them… but I don’t know. Did you talk to your doctor/peditrician about it? Maybe they could offer some kind of solution.
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RYN: Yes, the cat- I really wished the cat would just claw the shit outta both of them but alas it didn’t. 🙁 Kerry gets pamper points by just going up to the floors, going to their stockrooms, opening the diapers packages and peeling the points sticker off…noone would even notice but the floor nurses and I have a feeling they probably engage in such acts themselves, but I’ve never had thecojones. I don’t know Cassie! I’d love to read her, if you have an epiphany let me know what her diary name is! I think I could do it too, the damn epidural wore off by delivery anyway, I think if labor started naturally I’d have gotten through the contractions easier. kristen
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