I put the hopeless in romantic

Why do I love Valentine’s Day? Every year it sucks. Some years have been less sucky than others, but every year lands somewhere on the scale of suckage. This year, for instance, I’m single, sick and unemployed. Anyway, Valentine’s Day always always always sucks in my world. And clearly this year is no exception. But you know what? One year it’s going to kick ass. I have faith. One year it’ll happen. And then I can say that that’s why I love the holiday. Until then, I present to you a survey (as stolen from Joella*Does*LA).

-Is there someone in your life you wish you never met?
The closest I could say would be GirlX. The pain greatly outweighed the lessons learned in that relationship. But now I can just sorta shrug. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I don’t even miss her friendship, which makes me a little sad because I never envisioned a time where I wouldn’t want her to be a part of my life in some aspect.

-Did you sleep well last night?
Nyquil knocked me the fuck out.

-Do you have a common first name?
I don’t personally know anyone who has it.

-Who is the one person on your mind right now?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it is self-incriminating.

-Describe the last dream you had that you can remember.
I know I had a dream last night, but I can’t remember it now. The night before last, though? Holy hell. It was the closest I’ve ever been to acid without having to swallow something. Well, I suppose technically I did swallow something as I did down Nyquil before bed. Anyway. I can’t really even put it into words. The closest I can get to describing it is to say that first the Universe exploded. And then the dream started…

-What’s the last song you heard?
Broken by Robert Downey, Jr.

-Who/What is your favorite cartoon character?
Eric from the Little Mermaid. He’s a sexy bitch.

-What is a line from the song you’re listening to right now?
Out of the water you appeared like a dream to me and I want to thank you.

-What is the toughest decision/choice you ever had to make?
That is a damn good question… I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.

-Anything big weighing down on your mind?
The whole reason I’m doing this survey is because I’m putting off the task of learning my lines. I’m a chickenshit.

-Any current family issues?
Still have issues with my mom that I’m having a hard time stuffing down.

-Do you believe that someone can ever be completely satisfied?
I think if you make an active effort to be satisfied, to acknowledge the smallest blessings in your life, you’ll have moments of contentment.

-Who is the last friend you spent time with alone outside of school?
I haven’t been to school in years! Though that’s going to change next week. *woot*

-What do you think of your mother?
I think she did the best she could.

-Your father?
I’ve never met him, but I’d still really like to.

-Your siblings (if there are any)?
I’m an only child (on my mom’s side, at least)

-How many hours do you spend online a day?
23

-How do you feel about that?
Fine and dandy.

-Explain your current feelings for your last ex bf/gf…
I have no more feelings about it either way.

-How do you feel about teen relationships?
They’re cute. But if I ever have kids I’ll probably panic when my daughter starts dating.

-What about relationships in general?
I believe that everyone approaches relationships differently. What’s good for you may be totally unhealthy for me. But what I’ve learned is that I need honesty, even when it hurts.

-Who’s room of the opposite sex were you in last? When?
Travis’s on Tuesday.

-Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better?
I believe we’re all more powerful than we realize.

-What is the biggest problem in your life right now?
The fact that I’m unemployed.

-What kind of person are you?
I’m a joker, I’m a smoker, I’m a midnight toker.

-Do you ever hate yourself?
I used to. Daily. But last year something changed. There are still days that I just want to destroy myself, but some days I’m actually approaching something like peace.

-What is the most pointless movie that you have ever seen?
Mulholland Drive. I desperately wanted to stab my TV when it was over. Fuck David Lynch and everyone who thinks he’s a genius.

-Do you think that everybody deserves a second chance?
I don’t have the heart to say no.

-Do you and any of your friends have a "song?"
Bel and I do!! Personal Jesus. 😀 And I’d say Womanizer is my song with Nanners.

-Where is your favorite place to be?
A soft king-sized bed in a fancy hotel. With a good man.

-What’s the last movie you watched in theaters?
Mall Cop. I lawled, but it was definitely a DVD movie. Gonna see Taken on Monday and I’m WAY excited about it!

-The last movie you watched with a friend?
Hmmm, Mall Cop was with my cousin so I guess that *technically* doesn’t count. I can’t remember what I watched before that.

-An inside joke between you and your friend(s)?
Carmel. A!! (…just trust me)

-Who is the most important person in your life right now?
Me. Myself. And I!!

-Which is more important to you – friends or family?
I’m having a really hard time with my family right now, but they SHOULD be my number one.

-If you died and went to heaven, what do you think God would say to you?
A for effort!

-Do you feel like nobody understands you?
Nanners usually gets me, as does Mooskers.

-Do you feel that you are loved?
I have amazing people in my life. They’re greater than I could deserve.

-What is your favorite thing to do when you are bored?
Click random on OD.

-How are you feeling?
Sick. 🙁 But I just took some Nyquil so I’ll be feeling sleepy in a little bit!

-What time is it?
10:15pm

-Which is worse – smoking, drinking, or drugs?
Skanky drugs like crack and ice.

-Is there one person you would seriously kill if you could get away with it?
Nope. I mean, there are some people over whom I wouldn’t weep, but no. I wouldn’t kill anyone even if I could totally get away with it.

-Have you ever had a penpal?
No. But if anyone would like to send me a letter feel free to ask for my addy! I love seeing something there besides bills.

-What is your worst fear?
Failure. We’ll see how it goes tomorrow. Oh dear god.

-Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* Yes.

-Have you ever played with fire?
On Wednesday! Learning to put out gigantic flames is scary.

-What is the one thing you want most from life?
Mutual, healthy, long-las

ting love.

-What is the last scary movie that actually scared you?
Vacancy. Marissa and I were climbing all over each other. So much fun.

-Wallpaper on your cell phone?
My kitty. OMG I’m a crazy cat lady. Zang!

-Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Spencer. Mourning the loss of the game. Woe is us.

-Who was your last text/im from?
Cheena. She’s having issues with her boyfriend. What a crappy day for it!

-What’s your favorite number?
35 <3

-What are you listening to?
Grey’s Anatomy

-Do you get along with girls?
I’m better about it now.

-Last thing you ate?
Mushroom ravioli

-What was the last thing you drank?
Water. Chugging H20 and OJ!

-Are you happy right now?
I’m breathing. I’m reasonably healthy. I have a roof over my head and people that love me. Yes.

-What’s the last thing someone said to you?
"Turn on the radio!"

-Where is your phone?
Sitting on top of a box of granola bars.

-What color is your hair?
Brown

-If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
The cure for the common cold.

-Who makes you the happiest right now?
I refuse to boost his ego with my survey!

-What were you doing at midnight tonight?
Dreaming.

-What about at eleven?
Keeping my pillows company.

-What’s the last thing you thought about?
Hey now, didn’t I just say I wasn’t going to boost his ego? Stop asking me about him.

-When is your birthday?
March 7th

-How do you feel about your hair right now?
I love that it’s curly, but I’m terrified I’ll have a crappy hair day tomorrow.

-Where does most of your family live?
The greater Los Angeles area.

-Do you think a relationship can last 6 months without cheating?
I hope so.

-What color are your eyes?
Blue

-What is the one question you get asked a lot?
How did you get to be so damn AWESOME?!

-Are you married?
Single. Single. Single.

-Is there anyone who doesn’t like you?
Impossible!

-Are you mad at someone right now?
Myself. For being stupid.

-Do you want any tattoos or piercings?
I’d love to feel the needle again.

-Do you believe in love?
With every fiber of my being. (oh holy hell, did I really just type that?)

-When was the last time you threw up?
After reading my response to the last entry.

-Do you have a lot on your mind right now?
Kind of. Maybe. Yes.

-Have you lost friends in the past year?
Actually, friends have been coming back in the last year. The year before was all about loss.

-Who is your best girl friend?
Nanners.

-Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
He will occasionally pop up in my life, but hopefully he’s gone for good. He’s so annoying.

-Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
I haven’t kissed anyone this year. I’m being a tad prudish, but I really don’t want to kiss anyone that I’m not seriously interested in and I haven’t found anyone (offline) that fits that description.

-Who have you texted with in the last 48 hours:
I don’t feel like grabbing my phone, but off the top of my head I’d say Nanners, Erica, Spencer, Ian, Guillermo and Cheena. And Angel. And Mooskers.

-Are you in a good mood right now:
I’m a little panicky, but I’m okay.

-The phone rings; What do you say?
"Roadkill Café, you kill ’em we grill ’em."

-What is wrong with you right now?
I’m projecting doomsday results on tomorrow.