Nojomo #12 Pet Peeves

I hate liars

I hate manipulators

and I hate selfish people.

These are not all my pet peeves, but a few that keep popping up in my life lately. I don’t understand how people can be so selfish and self centered. I hate when people try to insult my intelligence with lies, or try to manipulate the situation in their favor. I hate when people lie to me, and get mad cause I call them out on their lie. I hate how selfish people can be, to the point where they place blame on everyone else but themselves. This situation with my guy and I, are just over the top stressful. I can’t really talk to him cause I’m hurting, and yet he is giving ME the silent treatment. He has stopped trying to touch me, because I show no interest in having sex. He’ll still masturbate in the bed next to me, and again it’s annoying as hell, but I have no motivation. He’s killed my spirit, and I’m not interested in saving the sex life when the relationship is in shambles. I can’t focus on my pleasure, or his, when I have things weighing heavy on my mind or heart. I go out of my way to show that I care, and that I do love him, but it’s never enough. I have reached my limit on how much of this I’d take.

I knew it was a matter of time before he’d blow up at me again about my lack of help in this relationship, as it relates to money. Even tho you see me trying, and trying to stay positive with all the job rejections, I don’t have a game plan to bring in more money. I put in applications often, though I haven’t in the past few days, but until one gives me the job, that’s all I can do is look and apply. I don’t see how I’d be able to do two jobs and go to school, even at part time classes. I can get a full time job and do part time, but I think it’d be a bit more difficult to do two jobs. Especially when I don’t have my own car, and he just started working a second pt job. I’d have to work overnight for a second job to even be possible, but even then I’d be struggling to find time for school. I’m not even worried about spending time with him, because he isn’t interested in trying, just trying to bring more money into the house, and sex, are his main concerns. Never mind my feelings or needs. I’ll have to work on NOT being a people pleaser.