Nojomo #18 Fave Book

I don’t have a favorite book, per se, but if I was to choose I’d say all the books in the twilight series. I read them after I watched the movies lol. I was never interested in the books when they first came out, nor did I wanna see the movies. Somehow along the way, the more movies came out, the more interesting they seemed. I didn’t really get into them until the last one was about to come out in theaters. I had watched  the first one when it came on TV and ended up really liking it. So before going to watch the last one at the theater with friends, I binge watched the first four movies lol. A friend had let me borrow hers. Anyway, after watching all 5, I started to really get into the series. I decided to read the books, I love the books. Some things help better explain situations, and some things are better in the book than in the movie haha. Another book series I like, is 50 shades. Again, another series I was never into  when it first came out. I was curious when the movies started coming out, and my friend who loves the series, urged me to read them. I did, and I liked them. I laughed at how similar the writing style was to twilight, but I learned that twilight inspired 50 shades. I have seen 2 of the 3 movies. The first one was ok, I liked the second one better. I haven’t had a chance to watch the third one yet. I had started reading the Grey books, I haven’t finished the second one yet, not sure if the third one has come out yet. It’s pretty interesting reading from his POV. I do wish Steph had finished her series of the twilight books from Edwards perspective. Would have been interesting to hear his thoughts on their encounters lol. The books are interesting and keep you engaged, and most times offer a lot more insight into the characters. I don’t read as often as I used to, but when I do I try to find stories that keep me interested and turning pages lol.

As for my personal life. Stress has gotten better, I’m still giving this “relationship” the side eye. I cannot rest and think “oh he’s changed this time” I’ve thought this before, but ended up sadly disappointed. I’m still gonna keep throwing money in to savings, as well as keeping my options open as far as where i go when/if this ends. I am still gonna look for full time work because I need the money. It’s easier to save when your check isn’t a piece of shit. I’m still gonna finish school (which reminds me, i really need to go register for spring classes). He’s broken my trust one time too many, and I could let it go, if history didn’t repeat itself so often in the past, and even recently. He can’t honestly think I’ll just “get over” the bullshit. He hates when I bring up old shit, even if it’s a month or two old. Do you wanna know why I bring some things up? Well because they keep showing up in my present. I tried every time to let it go and forgive and forget, but as things happened more, It was more of anticipating when it’d happen again. When it did, it tore pieces of me. I don’t feel as whole and confident as I had in the past, and if he wants to change that it’s up to him, but I have to keep thinking ahead. I got myself in a situation where I’m literally stuck here (unlike last time I moved for a stupid ass boyfriend, where I could just pack my shit and fly home), but from here on out I’m planning for me and emergencies. At least for now, the stress level at home has gone down. 

As for work….Lord help me. I feel so lonely and irritated there. I have one lady telling me I have an attitude, to the point where I really do have one when it comes to her. I don’t like any of the customer service managers, except maybe my immediate one, tho she’s just as dumb as a box of rocks, so that may be why lol. This other chick wants to tell me my attitude is why they keep me out of the customer service desk, but it’s because they do this, that I have this alleged attitude. I see them giving all of the things I was promised to other folks, some who came in after me, and it’s not fair. I come in to work everyday not knowing what I will be doing, reguardless of the fact that my title says CUSTOMER SERVICE. They are quick the throw me on a register for all or most of my shift, and “allowing” me to do my titled job, when someone is on lunch or vacation. It’s so unfair, but when you ask why they feed you bullshit. When you get mad at this bullshit, you have an attitude and that’s why they do you they way they do you. Fucking catch 22. SMH. Anyway I really pray I find full time work, somewhere else, soon. I can’t deal with this depressing place, but I can’t just quit either. 

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