It was a hard day today. It’s been a hard week, hard month, hard year, hard everything… It’s been hard. And it just. keeps. getting. harder.
And I TRY. I try so fucking hard every day to stay thankful for the things we have. I KNOW how it is to have nothing. To be a nothing. I KNOW just hope low and got bad it can get. I fight my head all fucking day to chase away the negatives and stay in the moment and be thankful for the little things and I’m EXHAUSTED. I want so badly to just be happy and content with my life but it just keeps beating me down. Every single time something finally goes right or starts to fall together something has to go wrong right with it and I’m SO TIRED OF FIGHTING IT.
The urge to just run away gets stronger every single day. I think I could really do it. I’ve justified it a million times. I can’t do it but damn is it tempting.
I’m doing the therapy. I’m taking the meds. I’m doing the work. I’m tired though.