Office Closet

Regardless of what the law is and what the civil rights indicates, the discrimination is still there.  I have been employed with the same company for 6 years and not a single soul at work knows that I am a lesbian.  I have seen how they treat people depending on their sex.  Every single task is very gender specific.  I am scared to let them know, I don’t what them to know, I want them to stop.

Friends tell me to just file a harassment complaint or contact our corporate EO representatives.  I know that retaliation exists, I have seen it too many times.  I love my job and I am passionate about it.  I don’t want to lose my job.

I am happy with work not knowing about my personal life.  I keep work from home, and vice versa.  It keeps my life happy and balanced.

However, what if I marry and have kids?  Wouldn’t I have to inform my employer to receive medical benefits, update my W4, and list them as dependents on my life insurance?  If so, what does that mean for my future at this company?  And why does that have an effect?

I don’t know what to do.   These guys at work hit on me everyday.  I can only imagine if I came out of the closet at work.  I can hear the disgust in their voices already.  Either that, or “can I join?”  Why are some people so disgusting.

A part of me just doesn’t care.  The other part understands that I have financial obligations and this career has many benefits (for straight white people).

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June 17, 2021

I know how you feel. I worked in a superstore and it was a ‘family’ oriented. Someone who knew someone who knew someone told them all about me based on my daughter’s school friends. As far as they were concerned, I was lesbian and therefore I could be laughed at, snubbed, mistreated, without them even knowing for sure that they were ‘right.’ Having never hidden who or what I am, I just let it be water off a ducks back. Yes, it sometimes hurt my feelings but, a5 the end of the day, these people were not a part of my life. I went there to earn a wage not to make friends so, I took the high road, tried to ignore it all and, kept my dignity.

Tell the men hitting on you that you’re not interested, period. You’re a single minded career person. It’s not easy being gay in a judgemental world of homophobes but, keep true to yourself and keep taking the high road.


July 1, 2021

My heart goes out to you. 😔💗 I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I’d like to say that I hope it gets better but… realistically, it may very well not get better… Wish I could give you a hug!

October 11, 2021

It’s been over six months since you wrote this. Has anything changed for the better?

February 20, 2022

Just read this, hope you’re doing ok and that things got better for you ❤️