Maybe it is depression that hit me like a ton of bricks on Wednesday out of nowhere and all of the sudden, making me feel exhausted and like I don’t give a shit about anything and like I don’t want to do anything ever. I had three days of this and didn’t seem to develop any symptoms of physical illness. Maybe all the stress is getting to me. I did manage to pull it together sometime this afternoon, and I went to the gym, and I came home, and had a nice evening somehow. The news today hasn’t been great.
There was a shooting last night in our neighborhood with one person killed. This happened just two blocks up the street. They said the address on the news this morning but I didn’t put it together in my head until I drove up the street on my way to work and saw the police cars. There was also a body found halfway between our house and our gym, near where there are some homeless encampments. Since the news spent maybe one minute talking about it, I’m guessing it was a homeless person but they didn’t say anything about the case other than where it was.
In family news, my mom texted to let me know my dad texted her (I guess they’re still pals?) and said my grandmother Yvonne is going on hospice but he wasn’t very informative (no surprise) and Mom suggested I reached out to my aunt Joyce. I did not want to reach out to Joyce and did not have her phone number but I’m tired of all this third-hand information from unreliable sources so mom gave me the number and I reached out. Joyce told me that the doctors said any attempt to do something about the brain cancer would just kill her faster than doing nothing, so hospice is coming on Sunday to meet with them. I can’t believe how fast this is all happening after almost 2 years of grandma telling me she was perfectly fine. Joyce said she would continue to keep me updated.
I texted my cancer grandmother in Alabama today but she didn’t respond. Not reassuring.
Tomorrow I have to shove all that aside and get some schoolwork done before and after my appointment with K at the gym for my ‘reprogramming.’ There is a ton of schoolwork and reading that has to be done that I’m already behind on and my hopes for losing weight are dwindling rapidly so let’s see if I can make myself feel better about any of that tomorrow. And we’ll see what my depression level tomorrow looks like too…