I could just die

Literally.  I have realized over the past several months that I could come home on a Thursday or Friday and die, hopefully in my bed, but just die and no one would know until Monday or Tuesday when I didn’t show up for work.   How sad is that?  I have people I talk to regularly but they never call ME back so it must be about me.  Sometimes I think:  Why not just go ahead and die and get it over with and stop worrying about it happening by accident, possibly a painful accident, maybe a horribly painful heart attack, with me feeling so alone and knowing there would be no one to save me.  At least if I planned it I would KNOW about it.  I have the means.