By My Own Accord

I’m searching for new adventure; in a realm I’ve never experienced before. I’m asking for new life. I’m asking for new emotion and train of thought. What have I done here so far? I’ve reverted, I’ve distorted my own voice. I’ve been subject of my own accord. I allowed it, I received it, I have given it and I have learned all I can earn from it. Now that’s come to a halt.

I explain.

My feeling is raw. My emotion is raw. But there is a difference between being emotional and having emotion.

I love the word judgment, people see it as a negative, it makes them emotional. But the true meaning of the word is far from the feeling people have developed of it.

Judgmental, how else can I make sensible decisions. How else can I make sensible conclusions, factual and true. According to the world, I am either judgmental or emotional. Judgmental isn’t being an asshole unless you are an asshole. Just saying, in case it makes it any clearer. You can be both, you can be neither.

I’ve rambled, but there was some gaslighting today. I’ve been told what I was feeling, descriptively, emotionally. I couldn’t relate to the feelings you’re describing but while you explain to me how I feel, you seem to speak clearly of the feeling, as if you know it, truly. Now I have my own feelings, my own judgment, developed and created by your own accord, by my own record.

As a judgmental person, as a person with emotion, I have made my conclusion.

Love,

Zee