Recent Entries

• Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  June 1, 2025

  I think my inability to sleep will literally be the death of me. I’ve tried everything. I’ve never been a good sleeper…. As a baby I never slept. Everyone told me that I was pushing them towards a nervous breakdown as a baby because I never slept. I am not talking about “my sleep schedule…

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• Tired

  May 11, 2025

  I'm so tired. I'm physically tired all the time and don't know why. I've been sleeping okay-ish. My heart has been acting wonky as hell again lately, and that makes me tired. More than physical exhaustion, I'm mentally and emotionally DRAINED. I'm spent. Worn out, worn down. I don't know why, eit...

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• Nothing new

  April 25, 2025

  Nothing new. Seasonal depression is still whooping my ass. On the bright side my anxiety has been nonexistent. I’ll take apathy over anxiety any day. Definitely hope it passes soon because this shits annoying.

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• Fighting the good fight

  March 27, 2025

  Goddamn, there’s so much weighing me down right now. Mostly just my seasonal depression, guilt, and regret. The silver lining is I’ve been getting these super creative ideas and my stupid brain has been expressing these feelings artistically. Unfortunately I don’t FEEL them artistically. It feels...

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• Little things

  November 20, 2024

  So I’ve been working on managing my ADHD which apparently is and has been a much bigger problem than I ever even realized it is/was. I feel like I’m doing some spring cleaning inside my brain lately. The ADHD tended to blend in with all of the other things that were wrong with me, and…

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• Boundaries

  November 13, 2024

  I really like my new(ish) therapist. She’s been helping me a lot with my boundaries. That was an accidental thing but it’s so far pretty awesome. It seems the more I respect my own boundaries, the happier I am. It’s a shame but I’m making myself NOT do things I would have done a year…

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• Achey Breaky Heart

  September 23, 2024

  That was an awful title. But to follow up on my last posting… turns out that whatever is going on with my heart isn’t as benign as they initially thought and I might have to have a procedure of some kind done… i don’t know what it was called but one of my valves… mitral…

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• It’s been some time hasn’t it?

  September 5, 2024

  I haven’t updated as much because I’ve been busy, tired, busy, busy, and tired. I’ve been having some heart problems for the last few months… Actually it started in January but was pretty sporadic, and I thought it was just panic attacks so I ignored it. Then in March, while still sporadic, it de...

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• I feel all…. Swirly…

  June 17, 2024

  Let me preface this by stating that I am a little stoned. But all of this was sober thoughts too. Which is what prompted me to get stoned in the first place.   (I am so shocked I’m forming whole sentences that make sense, however.) I feel like I am nothing. I feel like I…

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