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#marriage

Love Letter?

Folklorist
1 week ago
I’ve told myself a hundred times that I would never write these things down. The ugly things I feel when disappointment settles upon me in waves. A dismissive grunt here, a passing comment on the greater importance of your existence in comparison to mine. That your income is more important to our...
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0

the dread before the drop.

jonandyou
February 24, 2020
Been very busy the last few weeks. My wife has been…..something has changed. But I don’t want to talk about that. Let’s talk about my issues. It’s not that I don’t like her, I don’t think. It’s that she’s so heavy. A few weeks ago I was feeling fully myself, which has been rare the…
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2

We barely connect.

jonandyou
February 2, 2020
Let me preface this by saying I don’t like when people are all the time sad, all the time angry, all the time complaining. Yet I am all of those things in this diary. I like to curate my emotions, for myself and for others, with an appetizer, the main entree and a subtle dessert.…
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I no longer know who I am.

jonandyou
February 2, 2020
Such melodramatic titles. I’m still hiding myself, sorry to repeat. My dark side just came out hard core 3 years ago and nearly fully blotted out everything good in me. And I’ve regained a lot of the good that was lost, but only by — muting parts of myself. It was the self hatred. It…
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3

Learning to speak again.

jonandyou
January 31, 2020
I don’t know how to speak beauty anymore. I don’t know how to feel my soul anymore, how to express...anything. I feel like a creaky machine, rusty and noisy and broken. I do not know where to start. How to get my words back, my voice back. I have random words. Pain. Ouch. Ah. I…
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4

Update

Sparkplug
September 22, 2019
I haven't written in a while, I always think about it and then get busy with something else and never end up doing it... We went to Greece in June and it was AH-MAZING!!! I got to meet my family that we still have over there and they were so wonderful, so amazing, so sweet!!!…
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0

I Need Some Relaxation

MaeKhaleesi
June 27, 2019
I've been mostly up since 4:30 this morning, on my day off. Bella kept trying to wake up, so I tried my hardest to stay in bed, despite needing to get up to use the restroom. Darryl moving around to get ready for work probably didn't help. Eventually I couldn't wait anymore and quietly got…
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1

1. My puppy doesn’t deserve this, 2. My MIL is a flaming racist

ellieta
May 16, 2019
Wow, what a warm welcome I received on here! It's so nice to know that a supportive OD community still exists -- I really appreciate you guys sharing your own mental health journeys with me. Someone commented that their son did very well on Wellbutrin, and apparently that was all the push I neede...
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8

Resilience and Growth

Human Experiencer
November 26, 2018
Thanksgiving without her was different. I want to forgive her for what she's done but i cant get over that she's done this before and she will again. I want to do whats right for my kids, i think they are taking it well (on the outside) however on the inside i know they are…
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3

Moving to better me….

Human Experiencer
November 20, 2018
I think writing a couple of things to show where i am emotionally on this roller coaster of the process to end a 17 yr old marriage (that i thought was a happy one)  after a couple of cheating episodes helps me cope with the situation. I keep telling myself, this too will pass.... things…
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2
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