Just another day

So there was this festival Friday and I got someone to cover my shift. Hubby and I took the kiddo since her father opted out of this weekend due to a prior commitment. She had a good time, but it gave me a lot of anxiety. At the end of the night he and I had a big fight. Up until the last month or so, he’s worked 6 days a week. Well now they aren’t as in demand as they used to be and they’ve cut hours and people. So he was hoping for a night where he could do his own thing, I didn’t want to get lost in the crowd. But if he would have told me that ahead of time I would have dropped him off and went back before the concert and laser show they had. I didn’t need to be there from 5 to almost 11 like we were.

Then the other person went on a bike ride through another state and was gone all day Saturday. That was cool, but I had vented kinda to him the night before while he was sleeping so I’ve been super self conscious about talking to him and trying to wait until he does first. I was really hoping hubby would give it up this weekend and I even told him that my goal for the night had been to have a good time, get some yummy food and then get kiddo to bed and get laid. So I’m wondering if he made the fight worse than it had to be because he wasn’t in the mood. He said he doesn’t have the drive and I feel like I can’t get rid of mine. Isn’t this supposed to be the peak of a woman’s sexual desire. Her 30’s. I’ve spent most of it not getting laid. I’m pretty sure in the last almost 3 years we’ve had sex less than 20 times. I actually keep track now because I’m on the pill instead of an IUD like before. I might just get the damn IUD again and say fuck it. We aren’t going to have kids anytime soon if ever. I’m not far from asking him if he cares that I have a boy toy. I’ve told him before I’m almost always in the mood and anything would be better than nothing, but he said he lacks the desire so he doesn’t think about it. Well bud if it was the opposite, I’m sure I would still try to give him blow jobs if I wasn’t feeling it anymore. Because that’s my man and I want to make him happy. I get he’s tired but he doesn’t have the 6 day working excuse anymore. And if it’s because we haven’t fully unpacked the house then help me with shit you can help with so that I can focus on the other things and not try to do every damn thing. That’s why I don’t make an effort to do the dishes. If I have to do the laundry for 3 people, clean both rooms, bathrooms, vacuum the living room, etc. For someone who is OCD, he’s not really. IDK. It just gets to me. I just want to get laid by my man. Why is that so hard.