Tunnel of cobwebs?

So I decided I would look at my calendar and see how many times we’ve had sex in the last year… because I brought up, I wished sex could help whatever ailment he was complaining about. I am in no way upset that his back hurt or whatever else. He’s been complaining about that for a while and needs to go to a chiropractor but hasn’t. But what does that have to do with sticking the d in the v. I mean i’ll do the damn work. Just because you don’t like my pace doesn’t mean I’m not going to put in the effort. Hell when he actually hits like he wants, it’s a lot of core work for me trying to make sure he keeps it in the correct location. So while he’s sleeping on the couch and I’m keeping an eye on the grill because I knew he couldn’t stay up as long as he wanted. I decided to look up how many times we have done the deed in the last year. So it’s been longer than a year, but I guess since March 13th 2022 it has been 6 times……………….. six…. six sex times. I dont even get it once a month. Hell, I only started putting it in my period logger because it had almost been a year before that. I dont know what to do. He wants the house to be perfect, he is OCD. But I don’t get help besides the kitchen and I need a little incentive. Like dude come on. Sometimes the mood strikes and it just isn’t satisfied by toys anymore. That means in the almost 3 years that I’ve been married, Ive had sex probably less than 10 times. And in the almost 5 years since he got fired from lowe’s it’s been like 15. maybe 20…. we used to do it twice a night on some nights. Honestly the last few months we’ve been so busy I didn’t even tickle my own fancy. But something triggered it and now I got the other person who is almost all I think about because I know I am wanted. It’s mutual. I’m losing weight, feeling good about myself, hubs finally said he started noticing. Now take advantage of me dangit. Rant over… I need to talk about the other. I need to give him a name.

I am not comparing. But I forgot how much I love when people just say the right thing at the right time. Hubs is sometimes on point, but he gets so in his head he can’t even tell me how he feels most of the time. So many communication complications that way.

BUuuuuttttttt…. Other is not like that. He’s older and I’m sure knows what women need. Sometimes I wonder if he’s a undercover player. Idk, it doesn’t even matter, I just like talking to him and giving myself better material to fantasize about. He’s told me that I occupy every free second he has. Yeah me too. I dont take away from what I should be doing. I do get distracted at work sometimes talking before he goes to bed. Idk. I told him that I might bring him a dish I’ll be making during the week. He said he would forever be in my service. I told him I liked that idea. He said he thought I might. Like there are so many things he says and it just lights my flame. Other ways I worry though. I can tell in certain ways, he’s very cautious. I asked what he drove and he said a vehicle. And then said a red van so unless he’s dropped off, there have not been any red vans in the parking lot except me. He has not been in my van to drive it. In case you were wondering. I do write as if someone is reading. Usually it’s just to my future self. I used to do it in my journals as well. Side tracked. But he sent me a picture of himself wearing his jobs logo, not that I really care. I like knowing things. I guess I don’t need to know what he drives. It was more of looking to see if he was there even though he usually tells me when he is working with me too. He works at two jobs. I saw him when he got to my job this morning. He was waiting to come in and I was waiting to be let out. I wanted to see him again so much that I went back in to get my water bottle I left in my locker. I really have been wanting to bring it home and give it a good clean but I could have waited until tomorrow night when I go back in there. But it was nice having a small moment alone with him and his smile. He has such a nice smile. He smiles with his eyes too and the way he looks at me. Even completely dirty from the night he looked at me like I was still on the menu. That made more sense in my head.

I need to check on the grill and get some sleep. I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep at all yesterday (friday) but oh my word he and I…mmmm…. I might have already said it in my last entry but when he told me to just listen to him and he called. I just haven’t been quite so satisfied in a long time. Until the next time.