I’m tired.  I’m tired of the familiar pain that accompanies a broken heart.  I’m tired of being betrayed.  I’m tired of being used.  I’m tired of the numbness that escorts a new found lie.  Empathy has always been my greatest flaw.  You can cheat on me for four years, but when I find out and leave, the pain that you feel from my absence stupidly makes me feel bad.

Second to empathy, gullibility is my next greatest flaw.  When you tell me everyday that you love me, miss me, and will do anything to win me back?  Stupidly, I believe you.  You beg for forgiveness.  It’s a constant song on your lips.  Stupidly, I consider it.

It’s at this time that I have the pleasure of finding out about yet another bitch.  Another foul, tawdry, substandard bitch.  And at this point, denial is your only option.  You cling to denial as if it’s your air supply while you’re trapped in a sinking ship.

First, you pretend you don’t know who she is.  Then, when that farce isn’t sustainable, you claim she’s crazy.  She might be a person of low quality, but crazy she is not.  As you scramble to provide an explanation and rationalize your conduct, the truth that you mistakenly exposed is lucid.  The truth is conclusive, observable and unmistakable.

And so again I say, I’m tired, I’m jaded and I’m worn.  When will my strength ascend?  When will my ability to determine he who is and he who is not, befall?

The wasted energy and sentiment that I have expelled for you is ludicrous.  So please, for the love of God, stop.  You have taken all the love that I had for you and mutilated it.  And now, I am once again, indignant, marred and damaged.

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November 15, 2020

If you can’t trust him you shouldn’t be with him x