What happens to me is that I always create scenarios in my head as to how to handle everything possible that could happen all by myself. It’s exhausting. I don’t want anything handed over to me ready, for free, no matter how much I complain.
However, it may backfire as a useless source of worries.
Let’s face it, no one can cope with all of it alone.
In the first place, I don’t even know how to plant a vegetable.
Furthermore, the idea is to try to keep as balanced, centered and humbled as possible, and make the right choices that are in unison with your earth mission and God’s flow of love. I mean, if you try to fight against karma with anger, or always delve in the toxic patterns or keep not listening to the lesson you’re supposed to learn, even if you are the most capable one, you’d still fall in a trap.
So… maybe It’s high time I stopped worrying and started leaning on God’s plans for me. I think I am currently on the right path speaking of the so-called spiritual efforts and choices, but I have some annoying tendencies and habits that are really counterproductive. I am also so negative when it comes to trusting the divine for this unknown future that scares me so much.
I know I am afraid of people… Sooner or later I’d have to start working again… I just cannot believe this nightmare will have to continue again… And to believe there is a way to avoid people’s aggression… Sigh.