It’s What I Was Born To Do

I just heard someone on a commercial say that about running, he’s currently a professional runner. I’ve heard other people say that and that’s never been something I could say about anything. I landed in my career by accident really. It was something I was naturally good at when I was kid and it just “made sense” but I don’t love it. In fact, at this point in my career I kind of hate it. I’ve mentioned that I switched to a new team and it’s doing something that is related to my old role but still completely different. That difference has been giving me fits since I started. I’m struggling with it. In my old role I was the “go to” for complex issues and that gave me a lot of leeway in what work I took on. In this new role I’m struggling to get my feet under me, so to speak. But I really wish I was in a field that I felt like I was born to do it. At this point in my life I don’t know if I could switch careers and if I could what would I do? I still have a few decades before the traditional retirement but do I stick it out in a role I’m not happy with with a company that I’m not happy with? Do I find a new company and do the same thing as I did before. This is the type of shit that I wish the adults in my life would’ve told me about when I was growing up instead of continually asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up or that I had to follow their path of working for the same company for 40-50 years and then retiring, if I lived that long or I had to follow the paycheck.

I saw a thought prompt going around the social sites that asked if money were no object what would you do? I have a lot of interests but none that I’m good at in real life. I love watching film making tutorials but I’m too afraid of failing or looking stupid to actually pic up a camera and trying it. I’ve read and studied and written so much about health and fitness for my own blogs and “inspo” facebook/insta posts but I’m super uncomfortable giving people advice/guidance b/c I know what works for me (even though I haven’t been doing it) but would my experience translate for someone else and without a degree and certs am I really even qualified to help others?

Basically I feel rudderless and while it’s nice having a career where I make a decent living I’m tired of living for the weekends just so I don’t have to deal with work stuff. I just wish I’d pushed myself, or maybe been encouraged more that what I was interested in mattered when I was growing up. Neither of my parents ever came to any of my sporting events when I was growing up and so I just felt like it didn’t matter and then just lost interest in whatever it was. Now that I think about it that trend continues now. I don’t really share any interests or hobbies I have so I end up losing interest in them. Hm, maybe that’s a bit of a breakthrough?

Talk Soon

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