I’m battling a depressive episode currently. I managed to recognize it based on how I was reacting to things that really don’t matter like driving, work emails, etc but I didn’t catch it in enough time to avoid it completely, unfortunately.
I feel trapped. Trapped in my obligations, trapped in my work and just basically trapped over all. Part of me really doesn’t want to participate in society anymore.
I want to start dating again but I wonder if it’s because I actually want to be with someone or do I just want someone to help me with my obligations. I can’t honestly answer that atm.
I am aware that a lot of these thoughts are part of the depressive episode but some are just things I think about all the time. More specifically about withdrawing from society completely. I think about this most days and sometimes to the point of obsession. I just don’t really want to play the game anymore. Maybe I should do a fire sale and get rid of most of shit…I’ve accumulated so much stuff that I’m running out of room for it all. bleh…whatever.