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Why Not Me?

October 4, 2021
I’m sitting here watching another video from a youtuber that I follow about quitting their day job and doing youtube full time. I find myself jealous and angry b/c this person is around my age and in the same industry as me. He’s turned what he does on a day to day basis into his…
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Recent Entries

  • Drunk
    October 1, 2021
    and I’m sad….I don’t know why I’m sad b/c I feel amazing. But I’m still sad….and lonely. watching The American President…I need to drink with friends going forward. getting drunk by myself is not helpful…not at all.
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  • Mental Health Break
    September 29, 2021
    I’m taking a few days off work to reset. I struggle with negative thoughts on a good day but found myself just sitting and staring at my computer screen and completely unable to focus on anything. My dog has been sick for the last week and a half, he picked up a case of kennel…
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  • Another Week Down
    September 17, 2021
    I want to write more in general and more so during the week but I just can’t seem to find the energy. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday are my worst days at work. Mostly due to meetings that I absolutely hate going to but have to. Also due to the anxiety I feel about work. I…
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  • A Good Week
    September 12, 2021
    This week has been pretty damn good! No specific reason but I just feel like it has. I finished a book I’ve been slowly reading over the last month or so and immediately started reading it again. I feel like it has so much good info in it about the process of creating and just…
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  • What the Hell?!
    September 5, 2021
    I’ve had a really good weekend and even went to a location with people to take pictures but today my anxiety is giving me a big ole “fuck you” for some reason. I’m doing my usual thing hanging out at a coffee shop, reading, people watching and I just feel … restless. The book I’m…
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  • It’s Late, or Early
    September 1, 2021
    I can’t sleep. My mind is racing. Things have been going really well lately and I’m worried that this upswing will inevitably lead to a downswing. This one feels different tho. I’ve never been so excited about a hobby. I wake up thinking about photography, I dream about it and I’ve had a couple o...
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  • OD bug?
    August 26, 2021
    Whenever I use my iPad to post here the emoji screen in the entry box comes up and I have to click in this text box to get it to go away. Anyone else seeing that? Any idea who/where to report bugs?
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  • Making Plans!
    August 24, 2021
    I took the plunge yesterday and put a deposit down on a photography workshop in NYC next year. It’s focused on the style and genre of photography I want to pursue and is being taught by someone I only found recently but I have been devouring all their past work. All in all it will…
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  • Rituals and Me … and Other Stuff
    August 21, 2021
    I’m very much a creature of habit. If you’ve seen my last post about thinking it was Saturday on a Friday that’s a prime example. I worry that I get too caught up in these little rituals. If I don’t go to a coffee shop on saturday and/or sunday I just feel … off. It’s…
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