Recent Entries

• Lost and Confused…

  June 9, 2011

      The more time I spend with the The Neighbor Guy and his family, the more I realize that these people are fucking crazy. There is just something in their heads that is not wired right. They don’t realize the repercussions of their actions, they don’t see the image that th...

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• It’s been a while…

  November 14, 2010

  Lots has changed since my last entry... I hardly ever see The Boy anymore, except perhaps in passing... we're still friends, I suppose, but we've never come anywhere near being as close as we were for those few short weeks. He needs to stay away from me, and I from him, I suppose, for the…

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• Fuck it…

  July 5, 2010

  Well, I'm pretty sure that the boy and I are over at this point...Where our friendship is going to go I'm not really sure, but our physical relationship is pretty much over. The girlfriend is pregnant. She's 16...that poor thing...I've offered to talk to her, I've been through three abortion...

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• Self Destruction

  June 17, 2010

  Why am I so god damned good at self destruction? Since Wednesday, I have consumed approximately 6 little cubes of cheese, 10 pieces of Frosted Mini Wheat cereal, lots of coke and vanilla coke and a piece of chocolate. Add to that a wide variety of (very, very bad) drugs and probabl...

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• Two Weeks

  June 13, 2010

  It's been almost two weeks since The Boy and I started...and it's been amazing, absolutely wonderful. That boy is just....one of the best things ever to happened to me... He says the sweetest things, wonderful things, things that make me feel good about myself and who I am and how I&nbs...

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• Why?

  May 29, 2010

  What right do I have to feel this way? What right do I have to be depressed? My parents didn't abuse me, they didn't scream at me or neglect me or destroy my sense of worth or purpose. I had food, shelter, education, 'toys' and entertainment, interaction, guidance, love. Every...

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• Interior Monologue

  May 27, 2010

  "God damnit, why do you always have to fucking do this? Why do you always have to fuck things up? You are so bad...just...fucking 'worthless. I mean really, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why can't you just do this like everyone else? Why do you have to be so god d...

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• Him…

  May 22, 2010

  I'm fucking a 47 year old man...I'm in my mid-twenties. I can't quite figure out anymore exactly why I'm fucking him, but it continues none the less. He is my neighbor, he lives across the street in this shitty little trailer park. He's been here for 10 years and I don't see him getting out ...

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• Today

  May 20, 2010

  Today I was driving down the highway. I stared at the semi truck in the oncoming lane and got a flash of an image, screaming tires, broken glass, blood, smoke, fire, pain, screaming...destruction in it's purest form. I could feel myself jerking the steering wheel to the left, my li...

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