Look at this shit, I don't even have an intro! If people come poking about, they're not going to know who I am or what I'm about. They might have to judge me by the things I say to them or the top entries in my diary and fuck that shit, I know I'm lazy - I expect no more from anyone else.

ME: As I write this, I'm stoned. I'm stoned because I suffer from chronic pain and schizoaffective disorder (essentially severe bipolar depression crossed with schizophrenia). When I'm not stoned my days are spent in physical and mental anguish - I don't like anguish, so the choice was simple.

I'm a gamer of all sorts, I love video games, board games, roleplaying games ... I've been a GM for 25 years and it is one of the great passions of my life.

I am a great lover of stories and I grew up with the film classics of the 80s. I was also an avid reader prior to the electroconvulsive therapy, my youth spent reading Poe, Lovecraft, Shakespeare, and Shelly.... these days my love of books is more theory than application.

Before my health problems forced me out of college I was a Psychology and History double major with an eye toward a masters in Anthropology. Now it is all I can do it make it through most days.

And ... and I don't know - you want more, you'll have to ask.

Latest Entry

Memories aren’t how we remember them

November 5, 2023
It's funny, as I was writing this entry, talking about a person I had played an online rpg with back in the '90s, I was struck by how appropriate this title is. You see, I remembered that person fondly.  We had played together, in our small online social circle, nearly every day for a year…
Continue Reading...

Recent Entries

  • Too troubled to trouble
    September 14, 2023
    I was just remembering when I was a teenager. I grew up in an abusive household, my father and his friends beat me and abused me verbally on a daily basis. My friends were all criminals and druggies. I skipped school most of my Freshman year and spent most of my free time at drug…
    Continue Reading...
  • Oh, it’s that day, isn’t it?
    September 11, 2023
    I hadn't even realized it was 9-11 until I saw it appear on a number of entries. Where were we? What were we doing? What will we remember? It's like JFK for my generation - the crash heard 'round the world. It was the beginning of the decline of America.  We would not be in…
    Continue Reading...
  • That “haven’t posted guilt”
    September 11, 2023
    Every time I have something to say, I think to myself "I should make a post about it on OD" but I lack motivation and the icon for the website is waaaay over there->. So, then I start trying to compose something in my head that'll be worth reading again, later, and the weight of…
    Continue Reading...
  • Baldur’s Gate 3
    September 11, 2023
    I just want to record this so I can come back and smile when I read about it again in the future. I've been playing BG3 since release, just about a month ago, and this game is amazing.  Everywhere I go there is someone to talk to, something to explore, something to find, some hidden…
    Continue Reading...
  • Just need a weigh in on this one
    August 25, 2023
    Okay, I feel like I'm being gaslit but I guess it's time to get some other opinions. I am being told that I should not be upset about the following: I used to run a weekly Star Wars tabletop roleplaying game session.  The session lasted 8 hours every Sunday, and I did about 10 hours…
    Continue Reading...
  • I don’t care
    August 24, 2023
      I don't care.  I don't care if I suffer a little; I don't care if I die; I don't care if I'm taking care of myself, or my things, or my life.  I don't care. That's a big part of experiencing major depression: I leave problems unaddressed because I don't care if I'm made…
    Continue Reading...
  • Asset 5
    The new popularity of TTRPGs
    August 24, 2023
    I was wondering if I'd see any comments on the Tabletop Roleplaying Game hobby here - since it came into the mainstream in recent years - but I see the book and reading group doesn't get a lot of recent activity.  That's unfortunate, as Open Diary remains the one social media site I keep coming&h...
    Continue Reading...
  • That major life update
    August 24, 2023
    So, looking back, I see that it has been over a year since my last real appearance here, so I need to provide some major life update news.  For whom?  Let us pretend there are people who read and care.  Otherwise, for me, so I can look back in years to come and say "yup,…
    Continue Reading...
  • Getting the hell out of Facebook
    August 24, 2023
    So, I'm back here because I have finally left Facebook behind but I need a place to share my thoughts and this place has long felt like a safe space.  I have history here, made friends here once, lost friends here several times, but it still feels like home. Why did I leave Facebook?  It…
    Continue Reading...

Search Entries

  • Use dropdowns or search terms above to find entries.