Monday 10/18/21

7:39am I had a horrible night thanks to arthritis pain. I would get these muscle spasms, one right after another. I’d rate the pain a five on a one to five scale. I had to  ask the nurse for some pain med. She gave me some Tylenol but that didn’t help much

Anyways, I was woken up by five. I had a nice aid who gave me a sponge bath. She got me dressed and in my wheelchair by 5:30, I slept in my wheelchair until breakfast. Breakfast was good but the coffee was cold. I had a cheese omelet on a biscuit, banana and hot cereal. I ate most of it.

I’m truly blessed because I’m above the dirt. I’m not going to let yesterday  effect today. Today is a new day and I’m going to have a new attitude. I’m going to stay positive. I’m going to stick to my reading goal so I can finish that damned book. After all, life is too short to wallow in misery.

2:06pm My morning was hell. I tried to be positive but it did not work. I was very depressed because of incontinence and arthritis  pain. I lost count of the number of times I peed myself. I reached a point where I just did not care. Also, the pain was driving me crazy I wanted to cut off my legs it was so bad. Dealing with this made me very depressed.

I slept a lot. Sleeping was one way to escape from the pain. I was so tired of everything I slept away the morning.  When awake I sat in my urine wishing I was dead. I started to think things really are not going to get better. Then I had a few suicidal thoughts right around lunch time.

Lunch brightened up my day. I had Salisbury steal with graveyard, scalloped potatoes, mixed veggies, a dinner roll and something called bread pudding. I had two cups of hot coffee that got me going.  I always feel a lot better after a good meal.

I talked with Chocolatechip on the phone. She cought the person who was knocking on her door. It was this guy named “Bill.”. She was surprised it was him because Chocolatechip befriended him many times. She said she old the landlord and he said he will take care of the matter. I’m flag she got him and I hope that puts an end to the late night door knocking.

I haven’t done any reading yet. I just could not concentrate for being so depressed and sitting in urine. I feel better now so maybe I’ll give it a shot. I have about 180 some pages left to go. I hate to think about giving up when I’m this close to the end. Besides Kissinger is really interesting. I just have to be in the right frame of mind.

im going to try and get to it now.

6:58pm I did read a chapter in my book Years of Upheaval  by Henry Kissinger. I wanted to read two chapters but got sleepy. I dozed off in the middle of it then finished it I have four more to go and I’ll be finished with this damned book.

I had a good supper of a hot turkey sandwich with mashed potatoes and graveyard. I had Jello for desert. The coffee was hot and it perked me up. It wasn’t much of a supper but it was good satisfying, I’m still hungry.

I talked with Chocolatechip. She got her package from Stratford. This seemed to cheer her up somewhat. She got into reading the first section which was more about the human body and cell structure. She felt better because she had something to focus on. She also felt better because she caught the perp who who was knocking on her door. I said I hope this puts a stop to it.

I saw Nurse Ratched this afternoon walking down the hall. She looked at me but didn’t say a word. I’m glad she didn’t get fired. But I hope She isn’t coming back to this side.

Arthritis pain subsided late in the afternoon. Also, I didn’t have as many incontinence episodes. I had one before supper and two later on. I’m not too worried about them.

I love this tablet loaned to me by the nursing home. There is only one thing I don’t like about it. They downloaded and installed a Barnes and Noble Nook app. I cannot  purchase books using this device. Somebody from the Activities dept came to look at it and she was stumped. I wish I can buy a couple of books coming out this month

I have plenty of books to read. Hopefully, I will be able to buy my own tablet next month. I will be back in business.