Monday 8/8/22

8:17am My bedime was 12:30am last night. Aides got me out of bed by 4:30a!. I sly pretty good in between. Still I only got four hits of sleep. I was very tired and sore when I got up. I called Chocolatechip but was half asleep. It wasn’t much of a talk. I slept in my wheelchair after that. They woke me up for drinks. I had two cups of hot coffee and a glass of ug.

Breakfast was good today. I had s and a bowl of oatmeal. I ate it all and it woke me up for good. I feel a lot better. Chocolatechip called. She was getting ready for an eye exam  She is getting picked up at 8;45. Her appointment isn’t until ten. . She had a lousy night with diahrea. But she is fine now. Chocolatechip asked if I was going to call the office about my rent. I said I will call the Social Worker and tell her about MB and the rent. That was the extent of our conversation..

I’m proud of myself. I finished shed reading Empire of Liberty. by Gordon S Wood. I read the last chapter. I thought this was a great book about the history of the Early years of the Republic. I would give this book a five star rating. Next up is What Hath God Wrought but Daniel Walker Howe. It is the third vo!ume in the Oxford History of the United States Theory. It is about the transformation of America from ,1815-1848. I can’t wait to get started

I feel fairly good right now. I’m only experiencing slight muscle spasms. Breakfast was good. I’m getting great care. I’m not in tool much pain. I got a good book to read? Life is good right now.

1:50pm I feel very frustrated. My tablet is out of external storage space. I’ve been trying to delete files so I can download some books. I cannot seem to do this. I’ve been getting strange messages when I tried to open various apps. These messages will say app stopped working. Sometimes ia page will appear asking me to clean up files. Here, I have no idea what I’m doing. I called for help and they are still supposed to send someone from activities. So far she has been a no show.

I’m also frustrated about seeing the social worker. I’ve been trying to see her since last Friday. I wanted to talk to her about the rent situation. I called the front desk this morning. They said she will be right down after a meeting. So far she has been a no show.

I asked MB if she new anything about tablets. She said I need to buy an SD card. I’m  not sure what an SD card is. I was trying to get help from Chocolatechip ‘s worker. The worker is supposed to know a lot about computers and electronics. She was not able to help. I was getting more and more impatient and frustrated. Finially I went to Amazon. I picked out a five pack SD card for $42. I hope this will work with the tablet.I will find out tomorrow when it is supposed to arrive.

I’m also frustrated with myself. I feel very weak and stupid right now. I have not been able to keep the promise I made about buying more books. I bought three today. by Taylor Branch. These are: Parting the Waters, Pillars of Fire and At Canaan’s Edge. Of course I got the narrative audio version to two of the. I thought this would sooth my frustrations but it only made it worse. There is not enough storage space on my tablet

I know, a fool and his money are soon parted. I must be the biggest fool in history of credit cards and Amazon.

I did do some reading this morning. I read the Prologue and part of Chapter one in What Hath God Wrought, by Daniel Walker Howe. Then the for some reason I got the urge to buy books. I don’t know what gets into me but I am very, very impulsive I cannot resist a very strong urge to spend money on books. The harder I try to resist this urge the stronger it gets. In the end I cave in. I guess I’m an addict or something.

5:04pm Social worker never showed nor did anyone from the activities department. I guess I can’t get no help at all. I only hope that those SD cards will work on my tablet.  I was obsessing and obsessing over my latest purchase. I was making myself sick through worrying. I couldn’t concentrate on my book for worrying. Then I said the hell with my tablet. I put it down gave it a rest and tried to chill.

I talked with Chocolatechip. She likes her new eye doctor. He gave her a great report. She does not need new glasses this year. Also, she talked about the latest with Healthways. Chocolatechip gave them a month’s notice about needing transportations. This should give Dixie plenty of notice . She was going to file a grievance against Healthways. She was filling out the forms this morning then decided against it. Chocolatechip thought this might cause j her more problems than she needs. I said I’m think it’s a good idea and encouraged her to try Northwood.

We talked until supper time. I had a lousy supper. I had double portions Of ham with pinto beans, spinache and cornbreads. I ate everything but the spinache I had one cup of coffee that was nice cold. I drank it. I guess it is unreasonable toj expect hot coffee with my meal.

To make things worse I had a run in with MB. She came in shortly after I got my drinks. She yelled at me about changing my briefs. Here I am ab seventy one year old man getting yelled at by a kid.  She is a good worker. I had will give her that much. But she needs to learn a bit of patience.

This was a shitty day. I hope tomorrow will be better.

6:30pm I’ve been in this chair for fourteen hrs, since 4:30am I’m not tired but my nerves are shattered from obsessing over this stupid tablet, worrying about getting help, fiance’s, and running into MB. I guess I was worried about everything all at the same time. Then I had such a lousy supper. Now I just want to chill and wind down before going to bed. I hope they put me to bed before midnight tonight.

I’ll probably be up all night worrying about those SD cards.  You watch. Those cards will not work with the tablet I will have spent $52 for nothing. The. I racked up more expenses by buying books. A normal person would just put everything down and say forget about it. But I’m not normal. I.’m  Not right in the head by any means. I make a bad situation worse by spending more money and end up hurting myself.

8:25pm My Kindle app isn’t working at all. I’m trying to read one book, What Hath God Wroght and it automatically goes to another. My tablet has been acting crazy. I get messages that say “Requires SD card’ Then it was will not let me read the books I do have.i but screwed it all up. I hope I can fix it with one of those cards.

Now I’ve been in this damned chair for sixteen hrs But I’m too worked up to be tired I feel very anxious over this damned tablet Then I couldn’t get any help from  the Social Worker or activities department. I’m extremely worried about rent and finances. Reading helps !e relax I can’t even do that much because the friggin tablet has gone crazy. I’m very,very upset and I doubt I will sleep tonight.