Saturday 10/16/21

7:36am I’m blessed with yet another day.  I’m truly grateful to be alive for arthritis reared its ugly head last night. It was a five on a one to five scale. In addition urinary incontinence kept me up. It was almost a constant flow of pee. I didn’t think I would make I through the night

I’m ok now. The pain has subsided and I only had one episode since getting out of bed. I’m experiencing some pain right now in both knees and left foot. Today isn’t starting out so great but I’m above the dirt.

I had a great aid this morning. I got a nice sponge bath. She helped me get dressed an into my wheelchair. I also had breakfast. It was scrambled eggs and a cake for with hot cereal. I had two cups of coffee and an extra glass of chocolate milk. Breakfast with coffee always makes for a good morning.

I’m back to reading my book Years of Renewal by Henry Kissinger. I did a lot of reading before going to bed . I was started reading yesterday afternoon. I finished two chapters in my book I’m going to start ch 28 today which is preserving Sino American relation. I’m almost finished with this book. I only have two hundred some pages left

I also talked with Chocolatechip before going to bed. She did go to bingo and won a couple prizes. She said she sat with this one lady named “Julie”.  She spoke to this older woman who snubbed her.  I asked if they had a big crowd. She said it was the usual crowd. Chocolatechip said she had a good time despite that one incident.

I was put to bed at a decent hour. I thought I was going to sleep good but the arthritis pain kept me up. I don’t think I slept at all

12:46 pm I’m not having a good day. I’ve been peeing almost constantly. I just peed myself after lunch. This makes the fifth or sixth time. I don’t see the point in getting changed because I will only pee after they  are done I am soaked and feel like a miserable old fart.

Depression has reared its ugly head. I always get depressed when I have no control over my bladder and am in constant pain. I start feeling this shit is not going to get better and my life is over.  When I’m hurting like I was thinking about the positives seems like a waste of time.

I felt so tired from being in pain. One good thing was I slept in my wheelchair.  In fact I was having a good snooze when one of the aids woke me up. They were taking care of my roommate She said to me I want to see you using that urinal. I had already peed myself a few times. I did not dare asked to be changed..

I talked with Chocolatechip on the phone this morning. She had ah whole new attitude about the harassment problem. Basically she doesn’t give a good fuck She also said those people nocking  on my door are spineless, gutless assholes. They are not worth the time of day. She is not going to have a breakdown or let them drive her out of OT. I was glad to hear this from her.

I perked up when they brought lunch trays. I had chicken with dumplings, sliced carrots, a dinner roll and two chocolate chip cookies. I love chicken and dumplings so that put me in a better mood. Also, talking to my girlfriend is the best med of all.

3:25 pm I got my briefs changed. The aid who doesn’t like me did the job. She still washed me off and changed my briefs. I have no complaints. I feel a lot better now that I’m high and dry

I tried to read chapter 26 after lunch but didn’t get very far. I was reading about Sino- American relationships. I had a hard  time concentrating because I still feel very tired. I’m awake right now but still feel exhausted. Perhaps I will feel like reading after supper and two more cups of coffee.

I called my credit card company. Something is not right. I had $111 something available for purchases around the first. Other than buying a monthly OD subscription for $3.99 I made no purchases on my card. Yet they said I have only $40 something available I will call them Monday to see if anything went wrong.

October is half over and I’m worried about November finances. I want to start paying that collection agency. I can afford to give them $100 a month . I think I can afford this and still get that tablet which cost $140.00 something. But for some reason money keeps disappearing from my credit card account. I don’t think I will have enough to pay the collection agency and buy the tablet. Thinking about this is yet another reason why I can’t concentrate.

I need to chill for awhile I need to stop worrying about finances or I will soon be obsessing. Then I will have another sleepless night.

6:51pm Saturday is ending on a good note. I had a good supper of cheeseburger, French fries and soup. The coffee was cold but I drank it anyway. A good dinner always puts me in a better mood. Also, I was able to focus on my book. I finished Ch 28. I’m gong to try and finish Ch 29 tonight which is about South Africa.

I feel a lot better. Arthritis pain is minimal. I only had two episodes since dinner. I do not feel so tired but I think I will sleep better. Reading helped me. I was able to escape from my problems for awhile. Now they do not seem so insurmountable. Life is good

8:41pm I’ve been in the wheelchair since six, that’s almost fifteen hours. I’m tired and want to go to bed. I don’t mind getting that up earl so long as they put me to bed at a decent hou. Last night it was around 9:30. I thin I will be up later tonight.

I get very cranky when they keep me up late.  I get tired and my shoulders ache. Every night it seems like I’m the last one standing. Is it too much to ask for to be put to bed at a decent hour?  This is my one complaint I have about the nursing home.

i talked with Chocolatechip on the phone. She was in good mood spirits. She did a couple bigs loads of laundry. Also, th er is this other lady in the building. This lady “Ruth” asked Chocolatechip if she could do somevligjt housecleaning I said that might not be a good idea. For one thing Ruth has bed bugs. Chocolatechip agreed and she is going to leave a note under her door.

We talked on the phone and chatted on messenger. On messenger Chocolatechip mentioned her package from Stratford was delivered today. I said you will probably get it Monday. Then we started talking about all the people in the bldg who smoke pot. I said OT is nothing but a drug den. She agreed with that she got kind of tired so we said our goodbyes.

I’m ready for bed and wish the aids would come. I want to go to bed. I only hope I have a pain free night so I can sleep.  I will have a better day tomorrow provided I sleep tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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