Sunday 5/14/23

6:11a.m. I am above the dirt. I had one of the worse nights of my life thanks to pain and weird dreams. I had a nightmare about my parents. In this dream my father was telling at me for goofing off in college. I was trying to defend myself. I said I will have coffee at the student union. He said that was goofing off and I’ll never amount to a hill of beans.Aftetbthat I called him a mean old SOB. Then we got into a really big fight.

My mother got into the picture, She was crying then started to yell at my dad. Mom confessed she cheated on him and he was not my father.He started beating on her. I yelled at my dad and began beating on him. I woke up screaming after that.

I yelled out a lot last night. I kept having God awful muscle spasms. They hit me one after another. I cried out several times begging for Tylenol Finially aides came in and said they were sitting on my table. Sores on my thighs were hurting like hell. I was begging for cream. But it was not applied until they got me up at six.

In short my night was hell. I’m not doing much better in my wheelchair  I’m not having muscle spasms but the sores are killing me. Way I felt I was wishing they would just cut off my legs. But I’m up and blessed with another day in the nursing home.

I’m doing somewhat better. I have my morning coffee. and oj. Coffee is nice and hot. There is something about that first cup of coffee in the morning. It can turn a very grouchy old man into something that passes for a human being.

7:58a.m. I had scrambled eggs, French toast casserole and oatmeal for breakfast. I ate it all. I feel a lot better now after coffee and a good meal. Now if I can only get an aide to change my briefs things would b great.

I talked with Chocolatechip. We had a brief conversation about out nights. She didn’t sound too chipper this mornings. She complained about having a bad case of diahrea. She talked about her appointments for next month already and about getting cought up on laundry. Then we talked about the sniffing dogs coming next week on the 26th and 27th. They will check the whole building for bed bugs.i asked if she saw any last night. She said no. That was a good thing.

I talked about my nightmre and my pain. I wasn’t doing very well when we were talking. Chocolatechip picked up on that. I said I felt like day old road kill. She talked about the times she would come to my apartment in the morning. She would fix coffee for me and that would cheer me up. Even talking about it makes me feel better.

12:07p.m. I was in pain almost all morning from the hoyer pad. I was begging them to remove it. Finially they put me back in bed. I feel better now. I got my drinks for lunch. Coffee is helping me feel better. They are serving roasted turkey, carrots,oven browned potatoes, a dinner roll and a peanut butter pie. I’m king of hungry and can’t wait for lunch.

6:18p.m. I had a very shitty day. I asked to be put to bed at 10:30a.m. I was experiencing mild arthritis pain in my legs. I also had a lot of incontinence episodes but didn’t get changed until 4 p.m. So I was laying in urine all afternoon. I was one miserable old fart. I did manage to read my book At the Highest Levels by Michael Beschloss and Strobe Talbott. I read chapter 13. So the day wasn’t a complete waste.

Chocolatechip had a bad day. She was snubbed by the Bitch Clique. They were planning a party at the last minute. She was not invited. This kind of bothered her. Also, today was Mother’s Day. None of her daughters sent her a card. They did leave messages on FB. I guess that is the new norm. Chocolatechip said one daughter is taking her to Walmart Monday. At least she wasn’t completely forgotten.

I didn’t eat my supper tonight. I just was not hungry after that big lunch. I drank one cup of coffee and a glass of fruit punch. I dad ambrosia for dessert but couldn’t eat the Philly cheese steak sandwich and tater tots I was too much in a crappy  mood to eat.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day.